Queens of Mean

Hey girls,

It's Katani. Dealing with QOM (that's short for Queens of Mean) can be a hassle, and EVERY school has them. Right now you can probably think of at least one girl you know who fits the QOM description, am I right? Abigail Adams Junior High has Anna and Joline as reigning QOM, that's for sure.

But you know what? There are lots of ways you can try to get along with—and maybe even become FRIENDS with—the QOM at your school. I know what you're thinking: "Is she kidding?" Girl, I am not. And to prove it, here is a Kgirl list of four ways to deal with those mean girls.

Do the things you love to do. Don't let the QOM (or anyone else!) convince you that your interest in, say, table tennis isn't cool. That's what makes you unique!

Keep some perspective. Remember that QOM put other people down because they might actually feel bad about themselves. Makes you feel a little better to look at it that way, right?

Don't participate in gossip. This might seem obvious, but just like you don't deserve to be gossiped about, other girls don't either. And that includes the QOM.

Talk to a trusted adult. Your mom, your grandma, a teacher—anyone you usually go to for good advice can help you out here.

Got it? Good!

Read about the QOM at AAJH in book 10, Just Kidding.

your turn ...

How do you deal with the QOM at your school?
TTYL,

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Comments (822)

funnygirl1997 writes:

hi guys sorry i haven't been on in a long time so who wants to be friends? just write me k but i will be friends with everyone who asks me k so hold on let me get all ur names...............................
K i want to be friends with:
sam16
yumzum123
alyssia100
jamaicangrl25
casy
and anyone else who wants to be freinds and here r the clubs i hang out in
beauty club and writing club so just write me in there or in here bye!!!!

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+148

BonQuiQui writes:

	I have the same thing in my school and we call them the mooses. I fool around and I don't care what anyone thinks of me except my friends. I'm still friends with everyone!!

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+88

Riley_Glammor writes:

u know that saying that goes'fight fire with fire and get a biger fire' well my gradma used 2 say it all da time but i just had 2 learn da hard way........there was a QOM in my school and she was mean 2 me in all the possible ways.....i just couldnt bare it anymore,i decided 2 hit back and it just got worst....so i asked my gradma what 2 do..and u know what she told me????????..............she told me 2 be nice to this girl and it actually worked.....i would tell u da deatails but this comment is getting quite long!!!!!

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+54

amanda12345a writes:

Hey Katani, This girl at my school was new in third grade and as soon as she came here i didn't like her. The first day of Third grade we got into a big fight. Since then i have just stopped talking to her. Now that i am going to seventh grade we became friends. It started when she invited me to her birthday which was kinda wierd. since we dont talk. She told me she wanted to be friends, so i said sure y not. But by the time school was over she hurt my bestest friend ever. We became enemies then. She says it was an accident but i dont think so. I didnt know to do can you plz help

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+42

juiced2themax writes:

	WOW that is how people at my school think i am.

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+34

hannahcat writes:

	at my school i had mean girls and they turned out to be my freinds except for two they where julice

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+25

Maeve30 writes:

I would completely ignore them and not give them a second of my time. If they are going to be mean to my favorite BSG's they don't deserve even a second of your valuable time. Just tell youtself their not worth it at all.
I have two girls who are like the QOM's and one follows and the other needs so much atention. I ignore them and it kills them to not have all of my attention on them like everyone else. Good Luck!!!!

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+41

Ruffles32 writes:

	Don't go nuts and try to fight there wave of mean.

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+23

no la an writes:

	ignore em

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+23

babeface2008 writes:

	i dislike people like that but they just better not bother me

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+13

sharly writes:

	Its simple just leave them on their own even they criticize all you do. show them u are better than them.

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+17

ttbsg95 writes:

	Just ignore them and everything should go ok.If they mess with you First: Tell your parents.Second: Tell the teacher.Third: tell the principle,vice principle,& guidence counselour. The problem will probably be solved after telling all of those people.

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+18

becoolj writes:

	being mean is not so cool

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+22

Hotlidaygirl18 writes:

	Whenever a QOM makes fun of me I laugh and act like it didn't bother me. When I do that they look scornfully and leave me alone. Love Hotlidaygirl18

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+19

daredogs writes:

	i tried ypur tips and it worked now im in but i would never be mean like them thought

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+12

legendarydefense writes:

	If I valued your OPINION I would be offended. And absentmindedly WALK AWAY! Try and use big words to sound sophisticated and confuse them. LegendaryDefense

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+16

tshalaboo writes:

	I have 2 admit....I'm a mean gurl but not always well.....picture me as Alicia Rivera from The Clique I mean I'm not nice 2 just anybody me and my friends take alot of joy talking about people but if you feel the same way vote on my post cuz i know it'z some queen bees out there!!

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+10

fyora325 writes:

	I think u should just ingnore them. Besides, maybe mostly everyone knows the QQM are mean and show them who is really the real boss.

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+14

iheart242478 writes:

	i really do

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iheart242478 writes:

	i love your tips katani

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+10

BSG4evr2gether writes:

	Everything's COOL.

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BSG4evr2gether writes:

	I try to avoid the QOMs, so i don't have to deal with 'em. When I do, I stand up for my friends and me.

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alexandriapegram writes:

	Stand up for your self and your friends and show them whos the real boss.

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Bettyboo225 writes:

	W3 WOUD S3TTL3 DIS RIT3 D3N AND TH3R3.... AND TH3Y WOUD KNO NOT TO M3SS WIT M3...

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xsecretxcrushx=u writes:

some QOM are actually not very mean once you get to know them, i have previous experience with some QOM's and they told me that they really feel bad after everything they do thats mean, and that they are really sorry to all girls out there... One of my friends is being titled a QOM by this one girl that gets picked on a lot, but one of the "QOM" spread a rumor that my friend is talking about her behind her back...there just way to hard to put up with,but trust me if you ignore them and dont fight back they get tiered of it and leave you alone and maybe they will even say sorry and ask you to hang out with them once in a while, trust youll fall in love with them right away LOL!!!!!! smilies/grin.gif

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+12

purplegal writes:

	i actullay dont have any QOM's at my school but some boys can be kinda mean, but they're my frenz

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h20rocks1234 writes:

	i just dont hang with me and my friends dont because they always talk about how my friends dress and i hate that

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TropicGurl writes:

	i don't like girls that think they are all that i think all girls that act that why need a taste of there own medicine

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kmak writes:

	I have this bully but i just let her cut me sometimes in line but sometimes i tell her. xo, kmak

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23elmo23 writes:

	DivaPrinsess sound like u have a lot on ur hands 1st of all did u tell someone what this girl is doin 2 u cause it sound really bad but i got some advice once and they said to hang out with a big group of friends so when this girl sees u she wont try to hurt u cause she is not sure wat 2 do cause they could tell a teach that my advice try it u neva no it could work it worked for me!

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girlroc writes:

	she always take way my friends!! PLZ HELP

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youngyuan writes:

	I wish girls like me as a cool girl

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lakia101 writes:

	i tell to leave me alone.

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divaprincess writes:

you know the bullie i told you about well i think i can talk about some of the things that she did to me.
1. she threanted me
2. she pushed me down the stairs when my i was on crouches because i fractered my ankle.
3. she would just be a meanie to me
4. she would say things to me that no one should ever say to anyone.
5. know everyone is saying that shes coming back next year.
6. i need help bacause i don't know what to believe.

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+35

missystinkerbell writes:

	I tell them to get over them selves if they say something to me or my friends.

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ebolishous writes:

	i deal with QOM by is avoiding them and if they were to croos my path i say something to them our to someone in their possy.

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delware writes:

	well some girls or even boys r very jealous which makes them royal pains

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WindnDancing writes:

	well...i dont rly know i guess i would just not listen but if it rly gets to me then i would go talk to a friend or teacher

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funnygirl1997 writes:

	if someone is really starting to call u names or really starts to physically hurt u go tell the teacher or ur parents and just cause u tell dont mean ur a tattletale

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Ciara224 writes:

	Well,sometimes I just act like myself and have fun, but mostly, I tell on them to the teacher (who else is there at school?)

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yasmin759 writes:

	If you thing populary girls are truly me click the heart astimes as you can tell you friends!!!!

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+12

mroseq writes:

	Gossip is so mean!

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+22

fuzzy27527 writes:

Ok girls listen up!

I was at lunch this girl was telling me i was ugly and dumb! She talked to all my friends like that too. But one day me and my friends got together and went to the populaur table actully the mean table and said just please leave us alone. She gave us a evil laugh! Then i got a few boys who she teased and we said it another time she got scared and said sorry. If that dosen't work dont be afraid to tell the teacher or a adult. Its ok they wont be mean tell them whats going on.

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+14

salespass writes:

	at my Elementary school we had a golden rule it was to "treat others the way you want to be treated!"Queens of Mean are all over the school!there are not as many in Elementary school so enjoy the place while you can. those will make you angry

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+12

BrynnWins002 writes:

	lassierockz96 the way to do is to just say u're sorry,and give them somthing to show affection[show them you're realy sorry but remember comunication is key.

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lassierockz96 writes:

	we are all humans here we should be all treaded the same

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+11

lassierockz96 writes:

	treat others the way you wanted to be treated

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+11

lassierockz96 writes:

	hey, not to sound like a qom but last year i accedently sprained my friends ankle because there was this bully and she got me SO mad that i just poped and now every one hates me. what should i do.HELP PLEASE.

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SouthernGirl5689 writes:

	EVERYBODY thinks that these two girls in 7th grade D and V are HORRIBLE!!!! I wish someone would sock it to em!!!

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Vintage Girl writes:

	ignore them usualy..... they think they r sooooooooo cool but when we get older ppl r not going to want negative attention it will be us that will do well because we accept ppl for who they r love, Vintage Girl PS-DONT LET THEM BOTHER U OR CHANG WHO U R

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+10

purpleone writes:

	I deal with the QOM by trying to be nice to them. I think thats totally the right way to do it.

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divaprincess writes:

	Dear Qeenmeka, You don't have to be mean to get the respect that you deserve, I gives you a bad rep., and everyone is equal no matter what people say. Just be yourself, and don't try to be someone that your not. Trust me i've had to do that before, and eventually it comes back to you, and no one want's that. You have the respect, you just don't see it because of the way you act toward others.

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+12

surfer chick writes:

	@ my school its not the girls who the mean ones its the guys!!! they r mean & they talk about stuff that makes me want 2 gag!but i stand up 4 my friends and me all i have 2 do is top wat they say and most the time they backoff...but if dont then o well..

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skywriter101 writes:

	Well, my bff always stands up for herself and talks back to the QOM at our school. They like me, but they make fun of all my friends, so I don't like them for that. I basically ignore them if possible. Saying mean things about people that aren't true is on my Top 3 list of things I hate to do.

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mess04 writes:

	Dear SoccerChick33, Those girls sound really rough. The most important thing to do is stand up for yourself and dont let anyone push you around or tell you what to do. Always be yourself.

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mess04 writes:

	Don't let other people make you believe they are better than you because everyone is equal. Even if you not the popular girl and your not the girl all the guys love does'nt mean your a nobody. If you do the things you like to do and be yourself, you will be popular in your own group of friends. And that is what reallly matters!

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fantablue323 writes:

	i think everyone has a little mean in them, if not, ur just not human! but you dont have to act it out, just keep it in your head and you'll get over it.

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littlebabyj writes:

	i used to be best friends with these 2 girls they are twins! ever since well id ont know how it started they have beenmean to me and tried to take my best friend away who is also their friend im really upset and ive evn cried in regerstrastion infront of evry1 help!!!!!!11111 they arew so mean and anooyin but they cant see they are bully's!

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gymchic writes:

	talk to te school counselor or talk to teacher or maybe a parent or guardian

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QUEENMEKA writes:

	Well actually,I am the Queen of Mean, but its the only way for me to get my respect that I deserve. Ruling the school is what I do.

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maddy12345672 writes:

	dear lola4595, if someone enjoys being a qom,they are just self consious.they need to figure out why.is it there looks?is something going on at home?once they adress the problem, they need to adress it.once that is done the qom has no reason to pick on people, they have nothing to hide. soon they will be the nicest girl u know.

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maddy12345672 writes:

	dear brook445, next time they start,tell them they might as well stop because its not working, my feelings aren't hurt. then ignore them. remimber-they are only picking on you because they see faults in there self. if this fails talk to a parent or close friend.

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maddy12345672 writes:

	dear bookgal, next time she comes over, answer the door! when she comes in,ask if you can have a chat with her. then tell her you want her to stop gosipping about people.Stand up for yourself. Then give her one more chance. If this continues,tell her you do not want to hang out anymore because of her gossip. And be firm. Do not let her step all over you

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divaprincess writes:

Personaly, because I go to a christian school we don't really have that many mean girls, but occasionaly we. For example, I had a bully who only bullied me, and everyone thought I was lying until they saw her through me down the stairs. When my mom heard she told the princeple and, and he stepped in. I don't want to seem like a tatle tale, but when you can't handle it anymore, you really need to involve someone. I knew that she hated me and it got even worse, but when she did some other stuff to me (things I don't want to ralk about), the priceple told her that she wasn't welcome back the next year. Just if it gets to hard, you need to involve someone. I now that it seems kind of dramatic, but it really helps. PS: you can do that without anyone knowing.

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sweet_pie writes:

	yeah wat ever u say

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Jenniferrrrrxx3 writes:

	Just ignore the people that are being mean to you, dont be mean back, be the better person. unless it has to be done. whenever their mean to you act like you dont care, because they want to see you mad. just know your better than them:] Hope i helped:]

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Sam16 writes:

funnygirl1997,
I feel so bad. Losing a bff is hard but having one that doesn't let anyone hang out with you, well that's worse. I hope this helps!!!
When this girl lies to your friends, you will find something out. Only the true friend who really know you and care about you will not beleive her. If you are nice to everyone, then everyone else will realize that this girl was lying too.
When the girl tries to take your friends away from you, once again only the true friends will stick by your side. Let this girl know that you do not appreciate her picking who you can be friends with.
You should confront her and let her know that you're sorry that she had to change so much and then just walk away from her. It's hard, but it will really make her think back on what she did. Also tell her how you feel. Like telll her exactly what you said on this website. She may not realize what she is doing is really getting to you.
Good Luck and tell me how it goes!!!

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kaite12345 writes:

	how can you heip me with the qom i need help please thease girls they told my friends not to hang out with me and i will pay you 100$ if you act like her friend

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bookgal writes:

	Dear Katani a QOM live across the street from me and she is starting to come to my house and tells me all this gossip about other people now I just dont awnser the door when she i there am I doing the right thing?

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brook455 writes:

	im on a cheerleading squad and im a flyer but when they trough me up in the air i cant do a flip and theres really mean girls on the squad and they keep laughing and teasing me, what should i do?

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brook455 writes:

	what is u tell a mean person to stop and she takes a mean picture of u and sends it to everyone

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jazzybagel12 writes:

	Well I try to stay away from them cuz they just make me feel bad!!!!

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lola4595 writes:

	Dear Katami, Yea every girl has a QOM but say if u r the QOM and u like being mean wat should u do? lola4595

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yumzum123 writes:

dear funnygirl,
When you're mad, take bunch of deep breaths. That helps a BUNCH. Another way is to stop the conversation. You really shouldn't talk to this person until you calm down. That's why friends don't talk to each other when they have a fight. They don't want to talk to each other until they calm down about whatever happened. keeps using these things until your anger managment problems are GONE.
I really really really really hopes this helps
yumzum123

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alyssia100 writes:

	you may think i'm crazy but i need a friend funnygirl please be my friend

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alyssia100 writes:

	Funnygirl please help me p.s.write back soon

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Zion212 writes:

	IF a mean girl is mean to you it is going to be ok love your life dont let haters control you! you control them

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alyssia100 writes:

	dear, As3a and funnygirl can I join i feel the same way and i wont turn my back on you at all because i thought this girl was my friend but she making fun of me behind my back by the way im in the 3rd grade what should i do P.S. im going to the 4th grade and makes me cry in my heart >: ( p.s.HELP ME P.S.WRITE BACK FAST

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jamaicangrl25 writes:

	I wanna b friends funnygirl!!!!!

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alyssia100 writes:

	This one time these girls, they made me cry one of said i was so ugly and said i can never get a boy friend i stud up to them told them off.now i know so people won't be mean to me so dont let people tell you down because you will fall down so let them so you wont fall down.

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casy writes:

	If you would like to be my friend please press the heart or write a comment but i think a comment would be better cause i could like chat with you through these things. thank you so much

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casy writes:

	I have A QOM at my school, and there was a new girl at school in her class and she turned her into a QOM and she was so nice until she turned into a QOM. So what i do is i just iqnor them or walk away

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casy writes:

	Hey Funnygirl1997 i would like to be friends with you Casy

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Sam16 writes:

If someone insults me, I just give it back to them to show them that I am not intimidated. Keep a great, nice group of friends who always have your back and will never turn against you. Try to ignore people like the QOM. If you show them that your not afraid, they will most likely stop picking on you. Remember, if a friend acts as a backstabber, try not to tell them your depest secrets because you probably can't trust them as well anymore. Keeping a true friend or friends is a good idea so that you will always have someone there to pick you up when you are put down and to stay away from people who aren't as nice.

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SoccrG writes:

	your out of school so take a break and stop worring about them !!

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BreBre443 writes:

	What's wrong with them cause im on the prep sqaud BreBre443

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Lilly31 writes:

	I just walk away if they insult me.they also show off so just hang out with people who have a great personality. Lilly 31

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crzystar66 writes:

	thnx 4 all the help....i hav a prob. w/ that

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volleyball_allstar_4lyfe writes:

	well i really like to get back @ ppl to show im so cool but now i just tell them wats rite nd wrong and now they're really kewl

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funnygirl1997 writes:

	as3a, hey thnx for the help!!!Do u want 2 b friends write me back!!!!!! luv, ☻ ♥funnygirl♥ ☺

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orange66 writes:

	Iwould say,"y don't u two get a life and quit talking,whispering,and snickering about people in your class!"

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CleoRules writes:

	I Stand up slam my fist on the table and tell them that they will not talk to me like that, and that will scare them. Don't be scared of how anyone else will react.

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sisjordan11 writes:

	hellow will you be my friend

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jamaicangrl25 writes:

	wow...tough situtation shelly246.... idk...mayb ummm be like"what's ur problem?" idk...hope it all works out!

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Soccerchick33 writes:

	Well there is a group of girls who get right up in peoples faces and show them how cool they are! I am sick of it!! And one of the girls was by my locker!! I am on summer break just got out like 4 days ago. i am happy and i am done

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shelly246 writes:

there is this girl at my school that used to be my bff. but now she is so mean and rude to me and she talks about me behind my back! smilies/angry.gif

and now she takes my friends away from me! she is so weird! one minute shes ur friend and the next minute shes not! WHAT IS UP WITH THAT! like on friday when i wasnt with any of my friends she was nice to me. but then at lunch time when i was with my friends, sh like moves away from me while giving me a face that said," why is she like sitting next to me? since when was i her friend?!" HOW RUDE OF HER!!!!! smilies/angry.gif

please i need anyones help if you can. tips, addvice, ANYTHING!

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+10

coolpeople456 writes:

	ok if a drama gueen tries to get me I jut don't even listen to her or he.

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veenesa writes:

	they are mean

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as3a writes:

Dear funnygirl,
I had the exact same prob. Only mine had to sleep over my house evry thursday. wen shegot mean i could cry 4ever. she and i used to b such good bffs i would sleepover her house or she would sleepover mine evry other day. i dont no wat happened. eventually i went to my mom and she stopped sleepingover. she and i r now ok friends. she even has helped me contact an old friend of mine from camp and stuff. just let it roll off ur back. if ur friends listen to her that ur a liar, dont over stress. they should know about ur probs. talk to them about it. i used to keep all of my probs to myself but when i opened up it solved much quicker cuz my friends stuck up 4 me. smilies/grin.gif

as3a

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+15

as3a writes:

Katani, help me. You seem to know a lot about being gossiped about and all of those things. One of my friends told me about two of my other friends talking about me and one of my best friends. I trust the girl who told me and I'm kinda upset about my other two friends. So is my best friend. I need help. I don't know what to do. My best friend is sending them a letter, but I'm not sure that that will stop the talking and they could even stop being our friends. I want them to be my friends. How should i do it? could anybody else help me either?

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+44

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