'Do you ever wish you looked like someone else? Or that you could skip school because you feel self-conscious about your appearance? Do you think you’re fat or ugly, even though everyone says you’re fine? So many girls have these kinds of feelings from time to time. The important thing is to find ways of coping with them so they don’t stop you from living your life.'
This passage is taken from an amazing book called Picture Perfect written by adolescent psychotherapist Jill S. Zimmerman Rutledge (HCI Teens, 2007). In the book, Jill talks about LOVING your body and tells the stories of many girls who struggle with body image.
Take Jill’s mini-quiz below to get a sense of how YOU view yourself in the mirror.
1. I want to like my body, but for some reason, I hate everything about it.
a. True
b. False
2. I think a certain part of my body (stomach, legs, butt, skin, hair, ears, and so on) is very unattractive.
a. True
b. False
3. I can’t think of anything positive about my appearance.
a. True
b. False
4. I think I’m too fat (or too thin), even though my doctor says I’m healthy and/or my friends say I look good.
a. True
b. False
5. Sometimes, I stay home from school because I’m unhappy with how I look.
a. True
b. False
6. I often compare myself to other girls and feel inferior.
a. True
b. False
7. I think everyone is more attractive than I am.
a. True
b. False
Did you answer “true” to any of these statements? If so, Jill says you might not be seeing the real beauty in YOU.
In Picture Perfect, Jill says there are lots of reasons why you might be feeling this way, such as…
1. You may want to feel good about your body, but it’s such a habit to see yourself in a negative light.
2. You may not want other people to think you’re ‘full of yourself,’ so you automatically put yourself down to appear ‘modest.’ As a result, this becomes your pattern: never to allow yourself to feel good about how you look.
3. You may feel guilty if you don’t like your body because you think about kids who are less fortunate than you are. But, you still can’t stop feeling dissatisfied with your own healthy body.
4. You may compare yourself with other girls who you think are ‘perfect looking’ and become painfully aware of all your ‘imperfections.’ You may even compare yourself with models and actresses, even though you’ve heard that their pictures are airbrushed and computer enhanced—in short, not real.
5. You may have sad and/or insecure feelings about yourself in general, and they may make you feel sad and/or insecure about your body, no matter what anyone else says.
Jill is soooo right. So, let’s take a pledge here and now that we will always love our bodies no matter what. And, when it’s difficult to love things you’d like to change about yourself, remind yourself of what you LOVE about YOU.
For more information on Jill Zimmerman Rutledge, M.S.W., LCSW, and her book Picture Perfect, log on to her web site.
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