There's an Artist in Mi Casa!

My exclusive interview with the late, great Pablo Picasso...


Isabel Martinez: OK, so let me just start by telling you, I'm like seriously THE number one fan of—

Pablo Picasso: Si, si, lots of pequeña artists like yourself claim to the number one fan of the great Pablo Picasso.

IM: (giggling) Ah, actually … this is a little awkward … not YOUR number one fan, even though you’re obviously great Señor Picasso, but I was sort of talking about your padre, Jose Ruíz.

PP: Oh.

IM: No, no, por favor, Señor Picasso, don’t get me wrong. You’re probably the most recognized artists in the twentieth century. I mean, your Blue Period, Guernica, Cubism! You are a living legend—er, I mean—unliving legend.

PP: True. So then why are you the number one fan of mi padre?

IM:  Well, my favorite thing to draw is birds. And Jose Ruíz’s specialty was—

PP: Of course! The natural depiction of birds.

IM: Your pepe and I are kindred spirits, Pablo. But this interview isn’t about your father. It is about YOU. So, first question. What is the thing that you looked forward to most about getting out of bed in the morning?

PP: I do not get out of bed in the morning. I am a nocturnal creature. I prefer to work at night.

IM: Ooh, like an owl!

PP: You really do like birds, Ms. Martinez. Yes, I suppose like an owl. When I lived in Paris with poet and journalist Max Jacob, who helped me learn French, he worked during the day, and I worked at night. At that time what looked forward to most about my life was Fernande Olivier. The bonita, creature, Fernande. During my Rose Period, she was my muse—my inspiration.

IM: That is so sweet. Was Fernande Olivier the love of your life?

PP: Bah! Love? Singular? No, no, no my dear. After Fernande, there was Marcelle Humbert—I called her Eva. Then there was Olga Khokhlova. She was a ballerina. She introduced me to all the high society of Paris, but I was too much of a bohemian at heart.

IM: Excuse me Pablo, my Aunt Lordes says that bohemian means vagabond, but my friend Katani told me bohemian means flowing hippy skirts and costume jewelry. Care to clarify?

PP: A bohemian means a person, as an artist or writer, who lives and acts free of regard for conventional rules and practices. That is what I mean by BO-HE-MI-AN.

IM: Ah-hah. So then you had one, two … three great loves, Pablo?

PP: And Marie-Thérèse, then Dora Maar—I met her at the terrace of the Café Les Deux Magots in Paris. Darling little blonde photographer that one. Françoise Gilot, Jacqueline Roque …

IM: Holy guacamole! Well that’s all the time we have left for today. Any final words, Mr. P.?

PP: Do you think I could take abstract art to world of American Idol?

IM: Absolutely not. Thank you very much, Picasso. RIP, great artist of the 20th century.