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The Green Monster

OK -- I just gotta get this off my chest! My friend Isabel won this contest and gets to go to a fashion show at the Museum of Fine Art in Boston! I submitted a drawing to the contest too, but I didn’t tell anyone. Good thing, too. If all my friends knew that I wanted to win, and Isabel won instead … I’d just about die of humiliation.

But now I have another major problem. I’m honestly, totally, completely, out-of-control jealous of Isabel! It’s soooo terrible. I want to be happy for her and stuff, but whenever she talks about the fashion show, all I want to do is cry. What should I do?

you tell us ...
Have you ever felt jealous of your BFF? How did you handle it?

TTYL,

 



Comments (77)add comment


snowbunny151998 writes:

Katani, think about a time that Isabel was jelous of you.
 

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snowbunny151998 writes:

one time, my best friend got to see won a contest (that I entered too to see a screening of The Suite Life of Zack and Cody an to hang out with Dylan and Cole after the screening. But she won! I was sooooooooooooooo steaming mad. But once I found out that my family would be taking us to Hollywood soon, I called her and apologized for being so mean about it. And we're still BFFs today!
 

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M AND A123 writes:


I would definately be jealous, but I wouldn't keep it inside me, I would tak to somebody, maybe one of my other friends, and ask them if they could talk to the person I'm jealous of.
 

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crazymonkey writes:

idk if I've ever been jealous of a BFF.
Unsure----Really----
smilies/grin.gif smilies/grin.gif
 

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artk writes:

I did feel jealous of my BFF. She was always hanging out with one other girl who, to tell you the the truth, I really don't like. We are still BFFs, but she still hangs out with that other girl. I guess I'm not really jealous of her, I'm jealous of that other girl. She spends sooo much time with my BFF. I know this sounds kind of mean but, I feel really happy when that other girl is absent. My BFF has trumpet on Tuesdays, so I have to play with that other girl. I really do NOT like her, but my BFF is her friend, so I pretend to like her. Is that wrong of me Katani?
 

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Sparklygirl writes:

I have never felt jealous of my BFF.
 

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sweetie100200 writes:

Omg I'm really sad right now. Because in school, my BFF IN THW WHOLE WORLD became really popular. It's obviouse that every "guy" friend she had, had a crush on her. They were my friends too, and i really liked one of them too, but he just didnt get it. I now realized that friendship AND yourself is the best thing in life! It doesnt matter if your popular or not!. So Katani, it will be ok the art show is nothing. Trust me just stay friends with her, and everything will fall into place just like a puzzle.

-sweetie100200
 

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zinnia writes:

sometimes i feel the same way but not over friend me and my friends speak their mind even if they won or i won
 

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newyorkagirl1010 writes:

what comes around goes around. if ur ever jealous of somebody, think of a time when u had it better off than they did. if u cant think of a single time, dont worry...ur time will come soon! or ur just not thinking hard enough!! lol
 

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starambition123 writes:

if your jealous,
1. think about a time where you got something really great and you knew your friends were jealous of you. this helps you think about how everyone gets jealous and everyone gets great things, just not all the time.
2. wish her a happy time, even if you are jealous. let her see that you can be happy for her. if you are spiteful and hateful, you'll make her feel bad and ruin her time, and you don't want that.
3. write down your feelings! if you are jealous and feeling hateful, write it all down in detail on a piece of paper. this way you can get your feelings out without hurting someone (emotionally OR physically!).
-hope this helps
 

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Thlayli23 writes:

I once felt jealous of my friend when had all this cool stuff that she got for Christmas. The worst thing about it was she abused it. She gave me one of her Barbies though. smilies/tongue.gif smilies/cry.gif
 

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cookygirl202 writes:

ALL OF MY FRIENDS R GOING SME PLACE COOL THIS SUMMER! i am doing nothing. nothing nothing nothing! I AM SO JEALOUS OF THEM smilies/sad.gif
 

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greenowl writes:

Hey Katani,
Being jealous is so hard not to do. Almost no one thinks there good enough and mad that they think other girls can do better than them. Try not to be envies and enjoy you. Hope this helps!
 

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ave4u writes:

YO, KATINI!
have you tried talking to your mom about it?
if you havent you might want to try talking to her
moms can help the biggest of problems, i had almost the same problem as you i talked to my mom and i felt lots better
 

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ninthmoon writes:

Advice:

1. If she brags, ask her 2 stop. If she won't, dump her. Who needs a friend who brags all the time anyway?

2. If she isn't bragging, say "U r SO lucky!" U CAN say "I'm SO jealous!" Or something like that.

I rlly hope this helps u all,
9th Moon

 

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krazymeBSG writes:

my advice is 4 u 2 tell her how u feel and she will understand.why wouldnt she.shes ur bff smilies/wink.gif
 

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bella.italia writes:

I just told her and we talked about it. It made me feel a lot better. Also, with somebody else, I talked to my mom about it and she told me some good things about me that might make her jealous about me. It made me feel more confident, knowing that I had a lot of pros, too!

 

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dancer19 writes:

I wrote it all down in a notebook. smilies/grin.gif
 

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catlover111 writes:

I know exactly how you feel. My friend doesn't know much about art, but she is good at drawing and she's not exactly modest about it. when she goes around showing everyone her artwork it makes me mad. i'm more into art than her and she tries to make people think she's the best artist in the class. I'm just as good at art as her, but i don't brag about it like her so i get really jealous.
 

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splash88 writes:

I have handled jealousy but at the same time I tell myself that I can't succeed at everything. I keep on trying. There are many options in life so don't give up! I know you can do well.

 

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socerluver96 writes:

i always feel so jelous of my bff! she is so popular and gets all the guys! i deal by being honest with her and she shows me how she does it!
 

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beacongrl writes:

Sometimes I am. My friend shops at awesome stores, so do I, but she always somehow manages to look better than me. I soon figured out that everyone has their own style!
 

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May_Gemini* writes:

Everyone feel jealous occasionally. I try just not to hate on people. My advice to you Katani, is even if it's embarrassing you should tell Isabel so she knows not to talk about it in front of you. That way when you won't have a meltdown when she talks about it.
 

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PONYLOVER writes:

yes,but i got over it
 

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bookworm13 writes:

my bff had something i really wanted and i didnt mind until she started bragging about how its the best thing ever. i got for my b-day and i hated it.

L8TER,
bookworm13
 

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luvcats567 writes:

Just tell her how you feel, but make sure you let her know you're happy for her.You don't need to not tell her something like that. Hope I helped-luvcats567
 

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oceanangel writes:

Just try to remember you'll get WAAYY more chances sooner or later in life! I bet all the succesful fashion designers got jealous of other people, and I KNOW that the designers didn't win something, or did not get what they wanted, but, with your fabulous fashion designing skills, your DEFINITLY gonna be a succesful designer!

 

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oceanangel writes:

I got jealous of my bff when she started hanging out with my shool's QOM and started ignoring me. Also, before that, sometimes (Like once) I got jealous of her for having something I wanted reeaally badly, but she treated me very nicely so I felt really guilty smilies/sad.gif
 

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Anabelle96 writes:

You just think about what your good at and you turn it into a list.

 

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dancer19 writes:

I tell her how I feel alone. I tell her in a calm fashion.
 

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082398princess writes:

One time my friend and I were looking through a catalog I brought. She made this whole statement about how no one should charge this much for chlothes. That Sunday she had on an outfit from the catalogue! I'll finish later.
GTG,
082398princess
 

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Mette writes:

dear readingrules,
i know being in this situation is really hard, but if she still likes you, you should spend time with her and ONLY her. if the rude girl wants to come too just hint you can't stand her and go away with your friend. worked for me.

 

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monkeysandhorses writes:

we get jealous of eaach other!
its soooooooooo weird. vote 4 this comment!!!
-monkeysandhorses
 

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monkeysandhorses writes:

one of my bffs parents spoils her 2 death. but my bff hates it. so i'm not really jealous of that
love
monkeysandhorses
 

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Cheetah_Girl_Fan writes:

One of my friends in my neighborhood is allowed to ride her bike anywhere she wants to, she gets more video games than me even though she hardly plays them(UGH!), her closet is bigger than mine and I'M the one who needs extra closet space, she's got The Baby-Sitters Club books she doesn't even read and I WANT them so bad, and her birthday is on Christmas Day so she has to celebrate two holidays on one with twice the presents!!! >( >(
UGH!
 

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readingrules writes:

Help me!!!! I have this friend who's been my friend since preschool and now all of a sudden
she's always is with this rude girl who is always mean to me and no one else. I can't stand even being around her so that means I can't hang with
my friend. What should I do??????? -readingrules
 

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Parisgirl23 writes:

I got jealous of my bff twice.She got a
wii and she goes Hawaii 1ce a year every year


She is so spoiled!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

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BSG Fan writes:

I have been jealous before but I handle it by just cooling down think of all the things that I already have.
 

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yayelephants writes:

yea ive felt jealous when she hangs out with this other girl alot it gets on my nerves
 

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faithfudge5012 writes:

i've never been jealous...EXCEPT once!!!!!! i was jealous cause she got straight a's.i only got 3 b's and all a's
 

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Mette writes:

i think that you should write down, why you're jealous, too. i keep a diary and when i'm jealous of one of my friends i write down why and why it's stupid and reasons why i am jealous even though i'm stupid. another good thing about a diary is that it writing your jealousy and anger down will prevent you from letting it out on your friends.
 

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amatomboy writes:

One of my friends went to Hawaii a month ago, last week another friend went to Mexico, and then another friend said she's gonna go to New York for her birthday. I feel jealous for some reason which I can not name. But I also feel guilty because they get me all of these cool gifts and I get them each a postcard from Monterey, but my family is low on money right now but they're my best friends and I'd love to get them something special!!!!!!!What should I do Katani your the best advice giver I've ever heard of and you rock!!!!!!!! : )( :
~amatomboy~
p.s. Luvya!!!!: )
 

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dance101 writes:

never have i been jelause of my friends
 

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BSGlover123 writes:

I've been jelous of my BFF because she as alot friends but i just got over it.
 

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sunshinedancer writes:

yes yes and yes.. i mean, i dont mean to be, but i guess its just natural, right? thats hard!!!
 

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BooButterfly writes:

I once got really jelous because my friend started taking voice lessons from the same teacher as me. But then we started having more fun singing together so it worked out great!
 

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Fashionista95 writes:

I was jealous of my cousin because my own dad bought her the CD i wanted for Christmas. She always brags about her CD. I treat myself to some BSG shopping and realize that there is no reason to be jealous about something that someone else has.
 

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Miley_Ramsey writes:

Just get a pen and paper and write. first write why you're jelling. Then write reasons she may be jelling on you. Think of things you can do that she can't and write those down. Spend time doing those things. Then ask her to help boost you up with the thing your jelous about. Ask her how to draw cartoons. Then, offer to teach her something you can do that she can't. You'll feel better.
 

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8024JM writes:

yes my bff got a boyfriend i never got one i was jelous but her boyfriend was a total jerk
 

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Laxgirl2 writes:

my bff brags about everything all the time.maybe its cuz she doesnt have as much as me(i have a home theater and 3 houses)and tries 2 make herself look like she has more things.i still am friends w/ her cuz shes really easy and nice 2 talk 2 about my crush.ps my home theater isnt a public movie theater like Maeve's.its a room in the basement that is a theater

Wow, it's cool that you have all that awesome stuff! But make sure that it doesn't sound like YOU'RE bragging when you talk about things with her. You don't want your friend to feel like she has to brag to keep up with you!

TTYL,
 

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redsoxfreak24 writes:

wait i have another one-one of my friends got a cell phone she has been bragging about and even taking it out in school when we are not supposed to she is always bragging about it but a couple days ago i found out it only costs 10 dollars and is really plastic nice cell phone!(not)
 

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Lunatuna writes:

Dear Katani,
My best friend makes a big deal about simple semi-exciting (for HER)stuff. It dosen't really make me envious, but it makes me feel left out in a way. Then, she rambles on and on about it,and
THEN.. a little bud of envy starts to grow. Then, I sort of have to ignore her, so that when she sees that no one is excited, she will stop.

Actually, that sounds like a pretty good way to deal. If you just ignore her in a polite way, you can change the subject without hurting her feelings.

TTYL,
 

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redsoxfreak24 writes:

well she used to be my friend, but last year she had a boyfriend and i was jealous of her because he used to like me and then he like her she is so popular but i just figured out she gets to be popular only cauz she is dating that guy no wonder she is losing all of her friends!
 

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sportz4ever writes:

Yes, my BFF always has good grades, and I really get jelous! So I had a meeting with my teaher, to ask her how to improve my grades, just like my BFF! She really helped me.

That is a great solution! You were unhappy, so you did something about it! Go, girl!

TTYL,

 

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~luv da Rockies~ writes:

im anly jealous when she______________.
oh, wait, im not jealous of her! Shes jealous of moi. i have no idea y, but she is! smilies/shocked.gif
 

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hjlkiev writes:

I'm never jealous of them. I'm scared of having no friends so i always do what they say. One friend just acts like my mom and i can't help listening to her.
Please help Katani, smilies/cry.gif

Oooh, I'm so sorry you feel that way. But, above all, you have to stand up for yourself. In fact, that's part of being a good friend! You don't want friends who boss you around and tell you what to do all the time. BFFs are all about compromise! But, if you feel like you'll lose friends by taking a stand, then you might not be with the right friends. Good luck!

TTYL,

 

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angel124 writes:

Just come out and tell her the truth! Tell me what happens!
 

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popstar63 writes:

i felt jealous when my best friend was dating this guy... smilies/angry.gif
 

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becool67 writes:

Have you ever been way to jealous of your friends BF and when ever I'm oround him i do a big LOL and then he looks at me like im stupid and walks away. And my BFF gets a big grin on her face and thens walks over to him and leans on him! smilies/angry.gif

No one

Ugh, that is so not cool! You should ask your friend if you guys can spend time together WITHOUT her BF. That way, you and he aren't fighting for her attention, and she doesn't have to choose sides.

TTYL,
 

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groovygirl91 writes:

Well, once I felt jealous of my F(friend)when she got all the attention, and she was the 'popular' one, and all of a sudden, one day she just left me standing there at recess and ran off to play with the S.S.S(Super Snob Squad).I felt SO mistreated! smilies/sad.gif
 

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TKA96 writes:

Hi Katani
Once my BFF ditched me for the poopular girls that I did not like. I thougt it was'nt a problem because they would probably not like her but supriseingly the did. I finally talked to her and she decided to be my friend again. if you have a problem with jealousy just talk to the person you are jealous of!

You got the right idea there, girl. I'll try that next time.

TTYL,
 

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babymegan90 writes:

If your friends get new friends you will have to deal with it. if you feel they are igonring and spending to much time with the othere person talk to them about it. in private....in other words without her new friend by her side or she might get mad and your bff might hate you 4-ever.
Advice Chica
 

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gigglebot21 writes:

I hate it when my friends get new friends
 

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loachell95 writes:

Well my B.F.F got her cell phone and she would always brag and it mad me soo jealous. and she would always see my B/F and she likes him too. and she would brag about that too. Well ttyl.
 

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helperforever writes:

i totly feel your pane. at my school there is a drawing contest and i entered. the problem is my friend won. the only thing is i told every one i entered and at the asembly before it was anounced every one said i would win. when my friends name was called i could have died! i wanted to be happy for her but it goes on the back of a t-shirt

That is an uncomfy situation. I think you should congratulate your friend and then take the advice of a couple of girls who've already posted--take 15 or 30 minutes to feel bad for yourself, then forget it and move on.

TTYL,
 

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kgirl#2 writes:

i'm stll jelous! smilies/tongue.gif my friend does 8th grade math (not in school) and were in fith grade! smilies/shocked.gif smilies/shocked.gif smilies/shocked.gif i do sixth, but still... smilies/sad.gif
 

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dolphin tumble chic 23 writes:

One thing my old teacher gave us a hint for was to set a timer (ask your parents for prermission)for 15 minuts and have a pitty-party. as soon as the timer goes off STOP YOUR PITTY-PARTY!!
 

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Martyis2cute writes:

no i actually am not jealous of my bff but if u are then just be cool. and y r u jealous of her???
 

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cheerleader1995 writes:

all i do is tell myself she's my bff! i should love her like my sister and be happy for her! sam
 

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pinkrocks221 writes:

my bff is a year yonger then me but is so tanleted she sings, acts, good at sports, and she is in gymnastics. I might be a year older but i still dont know what my tanlet is i am horble at sports cant sing or dance and get really bad stage fright

Take a tip from Kgirl: Don't worry about it! One day you'll just be minding your own biz-ness, doing your thing, and realize that you've had a talent all along! So for now, don't sweat it, and just do the things YOU love to do.

TTYL,
 

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WorldWideRisingStar writes:

Feel sorry for yourself for 30 min. and then get over it. I do that, and it helps me a lot. smilies/smiley.gif

Hey girl. I never thought of that, but I'd definitely going to try it. Thanks!

TTYL,
 

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Via writes:

my BFF is an out of control awesome singer. she got 2 lead roles in 2 different plays. I was sooooo jelous! It really was unfair, right? anyway, just think, someday ull be reconized for ur talent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Via 11 ma

That's really great advice, Via. Thanks!

TTYL,
 

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jesus128 writes:

In ballet there was this amazingly kind and tallented dancer.She got the lead roll and I was so jelous of her.Finally I got mad and I ignored all of her attempts to be friends and she finally went back to texas and now I feel bad.
 

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mr.martayrocks11 writes:

My friend is ridiculously popular and I WAS jealous but then I remembered what I had- lots of friends when she only has SOME. I decided that that's better then being really popular... right?

Having true friends is always better than being so-called "popular," no matter how many friends you have. So if you have some friends you can really count on, you're all set!

TTYL,
 

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CCEcharlotte11 writes:

Katani, I am having the same problem. I keep telling myself that I'm just annoyed and not jealous but I've GOT to face the facts! I'm jealous of my best friend. smilies/sad.gif Everyone thinks she perfect and she's really popular. I know that looks aren't everything but she makes me feel like nothing. smilies/cry.gif She cares about me a lot and I know that I'm great too, but sometimes it takes a while to make yourself believe that. smilies/smiley.gif

You're totally right! Thanks for the support, girl.

TTYL,
 

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sassyshantay1 writes:

It's O.K. Katani! Everyone gets a little jealous now and then.
Maybe you can ask her if you can go with her.
 

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BSG Fan writes:

Hey Katani!

I've totally been jealous before. I just try to be happy for her and think that something great will happen to ME next time.
 

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