Do Your Own Thing

Girls, I’m here to talk about those confusing creatures who can burp in your face one minute and be super nice to you the next—yup, this is about BOYS.

Some of us want attention from boys ... others don’t. Either way, getting attention from boys doesn’t have to be to see if they like you or not. Some boys are actually pretty cool just as friends.

But, exactly HOW do you get either kind of attention from boys? Well, let me share three things I’ve learned so far from having a brother, boy neighbors, and like 1,000 crushes.

Get positive attention: Positive attention from boys is actually a BONUS for doing the things that make YOU happy. Like, being the first in your school to score five goals in one game, or getting the highest grade on a math test—boys notice that. Achieving one of YOUR goals is the kind of thing that makes boys think, “Wow, she’s pretty cool.”

Avoid negative attention: Negative attention usually comes from doing things that are, quite simply, NOT you. Being known for wearing the shortest skirts or the highest heels doesn’t necessarily get you the kind of attention you want from boys. And if it does, those probably aren’t the boys who are interested in you as a person—and being liked for who you are inside, I think, is WAY more important.

Play it cool: Confession: I get all giggly and flustered around boys like Dillon sometimes, but being all flirty and intense can freak guys out a little. Casually talking to your crush about class or his soccer team will show him how cool and friendly you are. Then, if you’re too scared to let him know how you REALLY feel, you can have fun being friends and see where it takes you down the road.

Or, take a few minutes to answer our latest survey -- it's all about boys and dating and stuff!

*LOVE to give and get advice? Check out our new Advice Tower Club!

you tell us ...

But, boy issues aren't only about getting him to notice you. What are YOUR problems? Let's see if we can work them out together.

XOXO,

Email this page to a friend

Comments (443)

peppercorn13 writes:

it's this boy who i think is following me around and sitting next to me all the time and every time i move away and i told him i don't like him after that i thought he would get the message but does'nt help me please smilies/cry.gif

Dear peppercorn13,

I'm sure you've had a crush before, right? Me? Obvi. So, you probably know that you can't just snap your fingers and stop crushing on someone. That might be the case with this boy. Maybe he thinks that if he sticks around a little while longer, you'll get a crush on him, too.

If that's not going to happen, you'll have to be persistent -- but VERY sensitive to his feelings. Tell him that you're not into him in that way and that following you around makes you think he isn't getting the message. Good luck!

XOXO,

the comment above? VOTE!

queenaff writes:

Okay, there's this boy i really like. we have always been friends then we became best friends around last year and this year. but lately i been thinking it was a little bit more than that. i think he like me more than a best friend but i'm not that sure he likes me that way. there's this other boy he's been saying that (the boy i like) likes me. he use to say that i did too but he stopped that because i told to. anyways i think he likes me because the way he cares for me, if some boy is teasing me he'll get them to stop. he also flirts with me. i am scared he doesn't like me that way and thinks of me as a friend. i am so confused!! smilies/sad.gif

PLEASE HELP! thanks Maeve!

-confused and loves him!
smilies/grin.gif

Dear queenaff,

Sounds like you've got a big brother type on your side! You said it -- he CARES for you, which is nice. If you care for him in the same way, then why not just leave things the way they are and see what happens down the road? Good luck!

XOXO,

the comment above? VOTE!

I_Like_cows_52 writes:

hey maeve! i already left you a message on 'ask maeve' about guys, cause i didnt know about this. anyway, i dont think any guys like me, just cause i dont have a chest. all the other girls in my grade have a chest though, im just a bit of a late bloomer. im kinda upset that no one likes me. i think that if anyone oes like me, they should like me for who i am, not what i look like. i think that i am pretty good-looking, except for the chest thing. what do you think

~almost desperate~

Dear I_Like_cows_52,

You're absolutely right -- crushes should be about liking people for who they are on the INSIDE. It's true, though, that some girls believe what they have on the OUTSIDE is the only way to attract boys. But, a girl who values her body as something that's HERS-- not just something for boys to look at -- will avoid the guys who only see ONE thing and attract the ones who are more interested in her mind and soul.

So, take pride in being YOU and valuing YOUR body, because chests are not the only thing that attracts boys. If you're cool being who you are and it shows -- THAT'S super attractive.

XOXO,

the comment above? VOTE!

babymegan90 writes:

	Why dont you ask him out? You nevr know he might be into you. Who cares if other people like you? WHo dont liek them so big deal. Advice Chica That's another option! What other advice do you girls have for ~luv da Rockies~? XOXO,

the comment above? VOTE!

Zoey101222902 writes:

Dear Maeve,
there is this boy I like smilies/kiss.gif

but I don't think he likes girls yet smilies/sad.gif

worst of all 3 weard boys like me I DON'T like them smilies/angry.gif

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear Zoey101222902,

It's totally normal if this boy is a little freaked out by the thought of going out with girls. He might feel nervous around us and not know what to say. This is where you come in -- show him that girls aren't that scary by having totally casual conversations and by giving off the friend vibe, not the I-want-to-go-out-with-you vibe. Good luck!

XOXO,

the comment above? VOTE!

SummerRead34 writes:

Dear Maeve,
I am friends with this really cute guy he is sweet too. We both like each other and I missed the chance he asked me out. The I over heard him wanting me to ask him but I don't know how and I am always a little nervous. smilies/sad.gif

Dear SummerRead34,

Asking a boy out can be super scary! But, you're in a good place because you know he wants you to ask him. So, the chances of him saying no are pretty slim.

But, remember that you don't have to be going out to like each other. Or, to hang out as friends. You can both have crushes on each other and talk on the phone and stuff without actually going out. So, if you don't feel ready to be going out with someone, take the pressure off and just hang out as friends. Good luck!

XOXO,

the comment above? VOTE!

aurorell writes:

hey meave i like this really popular guy but he doesnt act mean
he kinda likes me back but hes afraid becaus i am the TOTAL!!!
oposite of popular he tells me that we shouldnt go out now
and he has this popular blonde blue eyed girly girl as his
girlfriend and he PRETENDS to like her and she ONLY LIKES him
he even PRETENDED to cry when she was ABOUT to break up with him it is so hard to KNOW THAT I COULD BR WITH HIM but i cant!!!............HELP smilies/sad.gif

Dear aurorell,

Who says you can't go out with him? Popularity contests are totally lame. What's REALLY cool is knowing that even if popularity exists in your grade, it shouldn't STOP you from doing anything you have your mind set on. This blonde, blue-eyed girl -- so what if she's popular? That shouldn't stop YOU from doing what you want. And this boy -- make sure he appreciates you for YOU, and isn't caught up in that whole lame popularity contest thing.

XOXO,

the comment above? VOTE!

Starrie18 writes:

There's this guy Alex- oh so cute! He's kinda a bad guy, he hangs out with Ben- worst bully ever- woude'nt wanna like him cuz 1. He chases my BFFS Valerie, Sophie, and Kaitlyn All the time. And, i never get a chance 2 talk Alex cuz Ben has him all the time! Maeve, what should I do?

Dear Starrie18,

Hmmm... warning bells are going off in my head! Forming your OWN conclusions about people is important (rather than just believing what everyone else says), but if Alex really is a "bad" guy, I think you should steer clear, my dear. Plus, he hangs out with a bully, which is almost always bad news. That's def not something you want to get involved in. If you feel like crushing on someone, think about the "good" guys in your class!

XOXO,

the comment above? VOTE!

babymegan90 writes:

	Well,If you dont like those boys you dont need to. You should ask this guy chris out and if it dosent work out just be friends. And maybe you could give one of those boys a chance. Advice Chica

the comment above? VOTE!

loachell95 writes:

Hey i have a boy problom! well i like this kid Chris and there is like what 6 boys that like me 3 at church and 2 at school and 1 at P.E. but i like Chris. Please help me Please!

Laura

Dear loachell95,

Wow! That's a lot of boys! But, remember, even if a ton of boys like you, that doesn't mean you have to be more than friends with ANY of them. And, keep in mind that they all have feelings that can easily get hurt. So, whatever you do, be kind to all those boys and aim to be friends with ALL of them.

XOXO,

the comment above? VOTE!

lollypop3 writes:

I have a boyfriend. Kinda. He already knows that im gonna break up with him. I don't want to make him feel bad when we work everything out. He is really sensative and i like another guy. he knows that 2. What do i say to him?

Dear lollypop3,

This is tough. You don't want to hurt your BF's feelings, but you've got to be honest. You don't have to come out and say: "I'm dumping you for someone else." Just say something like, "We've had a ton of fun together, and I totally like that about you, but I'm just not feeling it as a more-than-friends deal right now." Expect his feelings to be hurt for a while, but if you're honest AND sensitive, he'll respect that more and hopefully come around eventually.

XOXO,

the comment above? VOTE!

rentluver1996 writes:

Hi Maeve,
I have a friend who's a guy and i really like him as a friend but also he's cute. He asked me out a ton of times last year, but i said let's just be friends. Then he started liking my best friend and asking me about her intersts to get her to like him back. I got really jealous but my friend didn't even like him at all! What should i do?

Luv,
Rentluver1996

Dear rentluver1996,

It sounds like you sent the message pretty loud and clear that you didn't want to date this boy, so now he's crushing on someone else. And, you're jealous. Totally normal. Think about the reasons WHY you were turning him down last year. Is it because you didn't feel ready to go out with him? Is it because you don't have a crush on him (even though he's cute)? Try to block out your feelings of jealousy and figure out whether you've really had a change of heart -- or you just miss him crushing on YOU!

XOXO,

the comment above? VOTE!

loachell95 writes:

	Thanks Maeve your the best!!!! I went to my BFF's house and i told her and "she said thats ok because i like this other boy". and i was sooo happy that she wasn't mad at me.. Thanks!!!!

the comment above? VOTE!

bloom28 writes:

	Hi you guys rock i two boys like me and they a... fight over me what shoud i do. love bloom28 Dear bloom28, Whoa! Drama alert! Drama alert! If I were you, I would just stay out of it. I mean, I know it's you who these guys are fighting over, but the actual fighting is going on between those two boys and you shouldn't feel like you have to get involved! XOXO,

the comment above? VOTE!

bloom28 writes:

	Hi i have a boy problom what should I do Love Cherlean

the comment above? VOTE!

babymegan90 writes:

	Tell them you dont like those boys. If it keeps on going like it tell someone about it. Tell them you are sick of it and you dont liek it and then they can handle it and it will stop. Advice Chica

the comment above? VOTE!

destinyhope555 writes:

hey maeve.first of all, i wanna say u r totally awesome. probably cuz u n i r both actresses. but neways, as a tomboy, i hang n joke with the guys a lot, n i mean a lot. not in a flirty way but in like a dude-ish kinda way. my friends keep tellin me that im flirtin with these 2 guys in my class, who actually i dont really like. we're not really much of friends but we like 2 tease each other n joke around.i keep tellin them i dont like them, but 1 of my friends keep tellin me i do. awkward since i think she said she liked them both. but neways,i kno 4 sure i dont like them n they dont like me. what do i do
from a confused M-SIT
Stephanie

Dear destinyhope555,

Thanks! Joking around can sometimes LOOK like flirting because it's you (a girl) having fun, laughing, and playing with boys. But, you're right -- that doesn't mean you like, LIKE them. And, the only person who knows how you TRULY feel is you, so even if your friend is telling you that you like these boys, it's only true if you agree. Good luck!

XOXO,

the comment above? VOTE!

babymegan90 writes:

	Dont sweat it. Maybe if you set up a date thats good for you and your parents to go to together. They will see you are mature anough and that your boy friend is responible and kind to you and your family. Advice Chica

the comment above? VOTE!

babymegan90 writes:

I have a MAJOR problem. Well, I like these 2 guys and i am friends with both of them. 1 of them sit across me and 1 sits behind me. I like both of them alot but i dont know which 1 i like more and would like go to a dance with. HELP ME.

Dear babymegan90,

Oooh! A dance?! That's great. Why not just go to the dance with a group of BFFs? Then you can dance with both boys. There's no law that says you HAVE to go with one of them, but if one asks you, take him up on it and see if you guys vibe as friends!

XOXO,

the comment above? VOTE!

varejaoQT17 writes:

well i like this kid and all my friends think he sorta likes me back! and i REALLY like him but im not allowed 2 date yet but im 13 smilies/angry.gif

so im really mad my mom doesnt think i should date until im 16 what should i do?

Dear varejaoQT17,

I know it's soooo tempting to want to step into the world of dating, but you know what? I think dating can get complicated -- which is drama that you don't need! Your mom only wants what is best for you, and she's probably trying to protect you from all this complicated-ness. But, that doesn't mean you can't be in-school friends with this boy!

XOXO,

the comment above? VOTE!

heartlessangel writes:

there is a guy i liked since 3rd grade but i went out with him in third grade. I really like him again. I really like him. He is soo nice and a little cute. i think really want him to be my boyfriend again. His friend is my friend but I don't want to go ask him to ask his friend out for me! HELP ME! PLEASE

Dear heartlessangel,

Nice boys who are a little cute can be really fun friends, too! If his friend is your friend, maybe take a few steps back and ask the friend to invite you BOTH to do something. Then, you two can hang out as friends and see where it takes you down the road.

XOXO,

the comment above? VOTE!

chickadee writes:

I am totally upset. There's this boy in my class is really mean. He called me fat and a bunch of other rude names. I used to like him but now I hate him and he brought my self esteem down. Do you think I should belive his rude comments

Dear chickadee,

Absolutely NOT! You should not believe these mean-spirited comments. If this boy's insults are lowering your self-esteem, then you should tell a trusted adult, like your teacher, about what is going on. In the meantime, try to avoid him whenever possible!

XOXO,

the comment above? VOTE!

Martyis2cute writes:

ok so im like so jealous! im kinda higher then the middle in the popularity chart so i thought a lot of boys would ask me out. (But i kno a lot of boys like me) so in health class this boy wrote down all the girls that the guys wanted 2 date. my name wans't on it! i was so upset! and my crush is popular and im pretty sure he likes me but why would he date me if im not totally popular?i think being popular these days is important and only popular people go out with other popular people!!

Dear Martyis2cute,

Charts? Lists? Whaaat? Why should you care about a list made up by some boy? It's not like it's the law or something! In reality, there is no popular chart, and there are no popularity rules for who can date who. So, why even give this list a second thought? Be the girl who's totally above all the charts and lists, and that's what boys will notice -- your SELF-CONFIDENCE!

XOXO,

the comment above? VOTE!

lol!! my name is mia writes:

	You should totally just be yourself around boys. Because if you pretend to be someone else, they can't like you for who you really are can they?

the comment above? VOTE!

dulce writes:

	i really dont have a problem with boys,but when i really like a boy and he talks to me i get shy.

the comment above? VOTE!

loachell95 writes:

Hey BSG My BFF likes the same boy i do his name is Chris and he likes me and i dont want to hurt my BFF's felins so how would i tell her please write back

Dear loachell95,

This one is tough. I think you should be honest with your friend, because lying or sneaking around is ALWAYS worse. But, consider her feelings. If the situation were the other way around, how would you like to be treated? Be sensitive to your BFF's feelings, and think about what you might do if Chris causes a major fight between you. Good luck!

XOXO,

the comment above? VOTE!

loachell95 writes:

	Well i like this boy and im not sure if he likes me and i dont want to tell him that i like him because im afrade that he would lol at me if i asked him. please help me!!!!!!

the comment above? VOTE!

skywrighter writes:

i like this guy a whole lot but this girl in my school told him
and he thinks i am all over him but i am not i don't think he'll ever talk to me again what should i do? should i just forget about him? or try telling him i did not mean to make him feel bad? please write back i am in definat need of help

Dear skywrighter,

You shouldn't feel embarrassed or bad about having a crush on someone. Those are your personal feelings, and it was totally uncool of that girl to spill the beans. If he's going around saying that you're all over him, then give him some space -- a LOT of space since it sounds like he's not treating you with the respect that you deserve.

XOXO,

the comment above? VOTE!

cutie2themax writes:

help me i think i like this boy but i dont knoe if to take a move because people say he likes me help please write back

Dear cutie2themax,

If you only THINK you like this boy, and you're not sure if you should make a move, then you should probably sit tight for a while. Just because you like a boy, and people think he likes you, doesn't mean that either one of you have to make a move. Get to know him as a friend -- that should feel way more natural than making a move.

XOXO,

the comment above? VOTE!

ariexxx writes:

	yea what happens if ur in love with a guy but there's no chance with him? cuz well yea... and guys, they make great friends maybe cuz they don't think the same as girls but if u hav a friend (a guy friend) who u trust then just ask his advice on stuff u kno? cuz they see things different... but that's just my opinion...

the comment above? VOTE!

Darcimarci900 writes:

	Hey Maeve, I can't choose wich guy. One is short and one is in algbra. PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!! From, Darcimarci900 Dear Darcimarci900, Yikes! This is something I can't choose for you! But, why choose in the first place? Be friends with both boys and see what happens. XOXO,

the comment above? VOTE!

cutie2themax writes:

my problems rthat i dont know if i like this boy named alex in my class but he is all boyfriend material all my friends say he likes i got proof because he told 1 of my friends and i dont know what to do maybe we should just be friends can you give me some advice please it will help me a lot your my favorite in the book even if u have boy problems so do i Help smilies/cry.gif

Dear cutie2themax,

Just because a boy has a crush on you does NOT mean that you have to feel the same way about him. If you're just noticing him for the first time, get to know him as a friend and see if you have a crush on him, too. Being boyfriend material is great, but if you're not ready for a boyfriend (which is more than okay!), stick to liking his FRIEND qualities and go from there.

XOXO,

the comment above? VOTE!

summergirl2233 writes:

why happens if the the boy domps you and than you get bake together and the same things happen agin and agin and agin

Dear summergirl2233,

Oooh, this one's easy! You find a new boy! Hahaha! Seriously, this kind of cycle is not healthy or fun for either of you. It's pretty clear that you have your differences, so think about ending your more-than-friends relationship for good. This doesn't mean you need to go out and get a new bf (despite what I said above -- I was just kidding), either. Take all that time you spent fighting and try something new!

XOXO,

the comment above? VOTE!

Dancer181 writes:

	hi maeve u r lik such a boy expert see there is this guy at my school and he is really hott and he likes me but at my old school there was another guy that i still talk to he is soooo hot and is older but see he liked me b4 but idk who i should go out with! help me plz

the comment above? VOTE!

kekechi writes:

dear mAEVE YOU HAD MANY BOYFRIENDS I GUEST WELL YOU A MOVIE STAR SO ANYWAY THERE IS THIS GUY WELL GUYSIN MY CLASS AND SO MY FRIEND KEEPS THINKING I LIKE THEM ALL BUT I DONT WHAT SHOULD I DO? AND HOW COULD I HANDLE IT WITHOUT BEING MEAN?

Actually, kekechi, no boyfriends yet! (Although I did once think I was going on a real date -- it turned out to be just going to a basketball game with a friend.) Just be yourself, be friendly and the guy thing will sort itself out. Laugh it off!

XOXO,

the comment above? VOTE!

Futurstar24 writes:

You guys give such great advice! I read everything, AND NOW ME AND EDGAR ARE DATING!!! YOU GIRLS ROCK!!! AND MAEVE, YOU'RE JUST PLAIN AWESOME!!!! smilies/grin.gif

Thanks, Futurstar24 -- love the username!

You know, we try to get to as many comments as we can -- but with school, dance class, homework and trying to spend some time with my family, we can't get to them all. BUT, Club BSG to the rescue! Lots of girls in Club BSG also give great advice. Make sure you read the notes from other girls -- they give great advice too!

XOXO,

the comment above? VOTE!

Martyis2cute writes:

	dear spellbee12, that's not really nice of ur bffs. you should try talking to them. tell them that ur feelings are really hurt. you can try ignoring them or act mad. and u should tell the boy they're teasing u about that u just want 2 be friends. and if ur bffs don't stop then find someone else 2 hang out with until they stop. Hope my advice works 4 u, Martyis2cute

the comment above? VOTE!

princess901234 writes:

there is a boy in my class and he is so cute. he sits next to me and i really want to be his girlfriend. but i dont think he does. smilies/cry.gif

he is playful. he is so annoying and then hes sweet and then he gets all annoying again but i really think its real boy issues cause i also like this other kid.alex the 2nd boy liked me in 3rd grade and i liked him and we totally had a chance but i blew it with trying to be popular so i really learned to just be yourself.

the comment above? VOTE!

spellbee12 writes:

My bffs are telling everybody at school that I like a boy who I really don't! When I tell them that I don't like him,they tell me that they won't stop teasing me until I admit it.Should I just deal with it,or tell him I don't like him if they tell him anything if we get paired together for anything[we're in the same after school group where I'll probably get paired with him since we're the same height]???????????????????????????

Dear spellbee12,

It's totally OK to be friends with a boy and not like, LIKE him. And, telling this boy that you DON'T like him just to prove something to your friends will only hurt his feelings. Your friends are the ones teasing you -- NOT him.

To your friends, say something like, "Hello! I've already said 1,000,000 times that I don't like him. Can you guys please stop bringing it up?" And, if you do get paired up with this boy after school, be friendly! Being friendly doesn't have to mean anything more than what it is, which is being a nice person.

XOXO,

the comment above? VOTE!

babymegan90 writes:

I have a HUGE problem! Well I like a guy names daniel. He is my really good friend. He always stares at me and torments me latey. My friend went aaked him out 4 me and he said no! But i can tell that he likes me AND my best friend now. HELP ME!

Dear babymegan90,

Sometimes, boys (and girls!) aren't ready to have the "yep, I like you" conversation -- you know what I mean? So, it sounds like he really likes spending time with you (and teasing you a little bit!), but maybe he's not ready to, like, actually go OUT. Unfortunately, no one can read minds! So, there's no reason why you, Daniel, and your BFF can't be friends right now and save the "liking" talk for later.

XOXO,

the comment above? VOTE!

skywriter13 writes:

hey maeve
my bff likes the same guy that i do, but it doesn't stop there--he also likes her and they are going out!! what should i do?

Dear skywriter13,

This one is a toughie. But, ask yourself who is more important to you -- the boy or your BFF? Either way, it's not a good idea to try and break them up. You'd probably lose both of them as friends. Instead, do a bit (OK, maybe a LOT) of heart-healing, and try to support your friend and be happy for her.

XOXO,

the comment above? VOTE!

Chickabonita01 writes:

hey there I know two boys who are my friendz but they both like me. I dont know what to do because I like one of them but i dont want to hurt the other boys feelings. I need some advice. smilies/wink.gif

Dear Chickabonita01,

It sounds like you want to do the right thing and not hurt anyone's feelings, which is great! If you know for a fact that both boys like you and you feel like you need to do something about it try to be as sensitive as possible toward the other boy's feelings. Explain that you really like both of them as friends, but that you feel like you want to spend more time with one of them (aka, the one you like!).

XOXO,

the comment above? VOTE!

acikm21BSG writes:

	I do like a boy but I'm not gonna obssess over him because (no offense to the boy crazys out there) but it would be a waste of time. I have better things to do then sit there during my social studies class & space out thinking about him & if I look okay because he sits behind me.

the comment above? VOTE!

Read More Comments >>
‹ First < 1 2 3 4 5