When BFFs Fight

Sometimes, saying "I'm sorry" doesn't always do the trick. Even if you say it sincerely, it might not be enough for her. I mean, it's pretty easy to say the words "I'm sorry," but you have to SHOW her you mean it in other ways. Explain that you've learned a lot since your fight, and that whatever the problem was, it won't happen again. Explain to her that you really miss being BFFs and that you'd like to try again. Good luck!

XOXO,

Hmmm... well, you can't fix the problem if she won't talk to you! Explain to her that when she gets upset, the only way you can solve things is to talk it out!

XOXO,

Ughhh... it's hard when people change, but sometimes, they just DO. Your friend probably starting acting this way for another reason totally separate from you, but you can talk to her and say that you miss how you guys used to hang out and do fun things. If she's not willing to re-examine that attitude of hers, it might be time to focus on other friends.

XOXO,

You are so right!!!

XOXO,

Maybe your friend is taking offense to what you say. Sometimes, stuff sounds good in our heads, but then when we speak them, it comes out really badly! Like, telling your friend she's not wearing enough makeup probably hurt her feelings -- even if she is "stuck up." No matter how she acts (stuck up, obnoxious) being mean to her isn't going to solve anything!

XOXO,

She should stick up for herself! No one has the right to pick on you for being quiet and sensitive. Sometimes, bullies target girls who are sensitive because they know they'll get a reaction. Tell your friend to focus on defending herself and sticking up for herself in these situations. If she doesn't do it, no one will!

XOXO,

Every school has them -- Queens of Mean. Popular girls aren't always mean, and mean girls aren't always popular. But, if the popular girls in your school are mean and make fun of other people, just keep telling yourself that no matter what they say, they are not BETTER than you. So, whatever they say is just their opinion... NOT the truth. And, mean girls like to get reactions out of people (which is usually whey they're mean in the first place). So, if they say something to you, just be all "whatever" and walk away. Once they see they won't get a reaction out of you, they'll probably leave you alone!

XOXO,

Your friend is moving? That's so sad! Maybe she acts like she's happy, but she's really scared of losing you as a friend. Maybe that's why she's trying to make you jealous. But, you don't have to play games with her. Try to get to the bottom of how she's really feeling to figure out how you can keep your friendship going after she moves.

XOXO,

I'm so glad! I'm here if you need me!

XOXO,

Fist fight? Whoa! I think it's time you two took a few steps back. Name-calling and fighting isn't part of being BFFs!

XOXO,

Hmmm... I see what you're saying. BFF friendships really aren't forced, and that's what it sounds like this girl is trying to do. But, no need to hurt her feelings. Tell her that you like hanging out with her, but that you also have other friends you like to hang out with, too. Good luck!

XOXO,

Sometimes, people need time to get over stuff. So, if your friend isn't ready to talk to you after a big fight, don't get frustrated. If she's giving you the silent treatment, that probably won't last much longer either. Make sure you apologize sincerely, and explain that you just want to move forward and put the past in the past!

XOXO,

I only have a few words of advice: stay away. Stay FAR away! Good luck!

XOXO,

It's totally normal for friends to grow apart as everyone gets older and starts getting into different things. It is possible to be friends with someone who does not have the same interests as you do. Sometimes, friends just drift apart naturally. There usually is no need to official "end" a friendship and never speak to one another again. Good luck!

XOXO,

Uh oh! I don't know! I wish I had a crystal ball to find out. There's really no way to know for sure whether he likes you or your friend unless he makes it perfectly clear. (And boys tend not to do that!) In the meantime, just make sure that things are cool between you and your friend. You don't want to lose a BFF over a boy!

XOXO,

I've found that as we get older, friendships get harder. But, keep in mind that for both of you to get along better, at least one has to start making an effort. Tell her that you're going to try hard not to snap at her and pick fights. Once you do that, I bet she'll do the same thing.

XOXO,

Whoa! Whatever with that. Friends don't ignore friends for no reason. When she decides that it's your month to be ignored, don't wait patiently for her to give it up! Hang out with other girls and keep busy with other things! Hopefully, she'll realize that the whole thing is pointless!

XOXO,

Well, I think you guys should talk about the ROOT of the problem. It's OK to hang out with different people -- no need to get upset. It doesn't mean you don't like your other friends. But, really, you don't need their permission to hang out with who you want to hang out with!

XOXO,

I think you're right. I think learning how to "filter" (which means thinking carefully about what you say before you say it) what you say can make a huge difference in this case. Even "kidding fighting" -- sometimes, like in BSG book #10 Just Kidding, it's really not funny. The best thing is to try and resolve your problems, forgive and forget, as soon as possible.

XOXO,

Keep in mind that it takes TWO people to have a fight, so next time you feel a fight coming on, take a few deep breaths and calm down. At that point, you can talk things out and try to stop the fight before it starts.

XOXO,

Oh, they don't hate you! Sometimes, you face a tough crowd when you start a new school, but if you give it time, keep smiling, and be friendly to everyone, I bet they'll come around :-)

XOXO,

GREAT idea!

XOXO,

Uh oh... doesn't look like she thought your joke was very funny. And, almost NO ONE likes to have tricks played on her. I would apologize sincerely, and explain that it won't happen again. Then say that you hope you can put all the meanness behind you!

XOXO,

I bet your friend is feeling a little left out now that you've got a bf. Make sure you set aside special girl-time for the two of you without the bf. Good luck!

XOXO,

Drama! I'm so sorry that you're stuck in the middle like this. If this new best friend is trying to break up your two BFFs, that's wrong. Those two BFFs should have a conversation WITHOUT the new BFF to make sure everything is straight. "Go-betweens" like the new best friend almost always cause trouble. Keep in mind that if all the drama is going on between your two BFFs, you have every reason to stay out of it. Taking sides or telling one what another said and so on will only create unnecessary trouble for YOU.

XOXO,

Well, clearly your friend is upset. Even though it was wrong for her to cheat, when you see something like that happen, it's best to tell a teacher or your parents. Telling other kids can make it into gossip, and it could get you and your friend in trouble. I'd apologize to your friend and explain that you don't agree with her cheating, but you're sorry for turning it into a bit of gossip. Good luck!

XOXO,

Oh no! Hopefully, this will all blow over and you'll be back to BFF again very soon. If not, do your best to stop the whole jealousy thing before it becomes a cycle!

XOXO,

Well, if you feel very strongly about what she said and feel like it's still bothering you after some time, think about talking to her and explaining how she hurt your feelings. That way, you won't have that happen again.

XOXO,

Well, I mean, her mom and your mom just want you guys to be happy. That's what my mom says, even when she's grounding me! So, even though you may not mean it, you and your friend need to stop fighting and show BOTH your moms that it's good for both of you to be friends.

XOXO,

As Avery would say, ROCK ON! Now, that's standing up for yourself!

XOXO,

Hey, that's just one girl's opinion. It doesn't mean it's true!

XOXO,

I'll take a stab at this one. I'm getting the sense that she's probably jealous of you, and a lot of times that happens because people are unfamiliar with one another -- so they assume the worst! Show this girl how friendly you are and try your best to get to know her better. The more familiar she becomes with you, her jealousness might just fade away.

XOXO,

You know what? I think some girls are literally ADDICTED to drama. Like, life isn't interesting enough unless there's some kind of chaos going on. But, remember that you DON'T have to play by her rules. If she tries to start a fight, remind her that it takes TWO to fight and that you're not going to do it. Tell her that you REFUSE to choose sides between your friends. And, if she says something mean about someone behind her back, simply say, "OK, whatever... gotta go!" Good luck!

XOXO,

Sick of being her follower? All you have to do is STOP. Sometimes, we get into a rut where we just keep doing what we're doing just because we've always done it. But that "follower" feeling is not going to go away unless YOU do something about it. And, that doesn't mean not being friends with her. Just take every opportunity to make your own decisions whenever you feel strongly about it and LEAD, girl!

XOXO,

Oooh! I can't spoil the book for the other readers... :-)

XOXO,

You're right, sometimes people lie just to get attention. Explain to her that because she lies all the time, people will have difficulty trusting her -- even when she's telling the truth. And, remember that just because SHE'S lying does not mean you have to go along with it, too.

XOXO,

Sooo... when she wasn't getting along with this new girl, she was your BFF and now that they're talking again, she's history? That's not a very BFF-ish thing to do. I'd say to let it go for now and focus on a new group of friends. If you notice that she's hanging around again after a fight with this other girl, definitely tell her how you feel and how you DON'T want to be treated that way.

XOXO,

Hmmm... you're right. It's hard not to be friends with someone who you see every day. But, you can limit the time you talk to her by not bringing up subjects that will get her going off on a rant. Just keep things simple, and try to accept her for who she is. And, like my parents say, it could just be a phase.

XOXO,

It is really hard to stay in touch with old friends when you live in different neighborhoods, go to different schools, and get involved in different activities. And, it's normal for your friend to be jealous of your new friend. But, she has to understand that you can't go through the year without making any new friends! Be honest with your friend and explain that no matter how many new friends you make, you still value her friendship. And, set a good example by asking if you can meet HER new friends, too.

XOXO,

People tend to make friends with people who are friendly, kind, laid back, and have a good sense of humor. Try to bring out those qualities in yourself when you're with these other people. Good luck!

XOXO,

You got it! Anytime.

XOXO,

This sounds so difficult -- I'm so sorry you're dealing with this! You are right, she will probably suspect that it is you who turned her in if you witnessed her cheating. SO, to avoid that, talk to your teacher and just tell him to keep an eye on your friend. It will only be a matter of time until he catches her himself, and the burden is off of you.

XOXO,

This whole situation sounds like it is hurting YOU! So, I would say to let go of being afraid of making them mad. I feel like part of being a teenager is learning how to stand up for yourself and doing what you believe is right. The only way to stop what's going on is to tell them how you feel. If they get mad, then it might be time to hang with a different group for a while.

XOXO,

Of course we're friends! And, let me tell you, you are not being weird. It's very normal for girls to try out different groups of friends in elementary school. So, if you feel like that's what your friend is doing, think about doing the same! It doesn't mean that you two can't be friends whenever the time is right. :-)

XOXO,

This is a toughie. I wonder why your friend feels like she has to cheat -- it's a much better feeling to accomplish schoolwork yourself and get a "good job!" from the teacher.

If your friend ever involves YOU in cheating (like pressuring you to lie for her or letting her copy your homework), you should tell a parent or your teacher right away. That's taking advantage of a friend, which is total BFF no-no.

If she is not involving you, and you feel strongly about making her stop, talk to your teacher about it or leave an anonymous note on her desk. But, keep in mind that unless the teacher SEES evidence of this going on, she probably won't get your friend in trouble.

XOXO,

This is totally normal for BFFs to go through! Asking your BFF to make a choice (you or her other friends) is not the best way to solve the issue. This will make her feel upset and trapped -- and peer-pressured, like you said. Instead, have an open mind about her new friends. Hang out with them and try to get to know them better. You might find that you all like hanging out together! Remember that you can still have a special relationship with your friend even when she is spending time with other people. It's not all or nothing :-)

XOXO,

Using someone is never cool, but it's up to YOU to make it stop. Also, you are free to have other friends, and if she gets mad, then she's not handling the situation in a mature way. Remember that you should never feel like YOU can't do something that is perfectly normal (like having other friends or standing up for yourself) just because someone ELSE will get mad. No one should be using you AND have that kind of control, you know? Good luck!

XOXO,

I'm so sorry it didn't work out! If you're feeling bad about it, you've got to change your perspective. These girls don't sound like they're very inviting and accepting of other people. But, it sounds like you are! In other words, it sounds like they're the ones with the problem -- not you. Keep in mind that you ARE a great friend, and you deserve the same in return. It might be time to hang out with other girls who treat you with respect, rather than feeling excluded all the time. Good luck!

XOXO,

Hey, thanks! Think about why you really wanna be her friend. It doesn't sound like she treats you with respect, does it! And, remember that BFF stands for Best Friend FOREVER -- not until she gets bored and trades you in for someone else! Good luck!

XOXO,

Easy! Tell them that you are keeping your guy friend's secret because you would do the same for them. Explain that you don't like to gossip, and when someone tells you a secret, you keep it. The only exception there is if someone told you something that could lead to a dangerous situation. But, for this case, I'd tell my friends to M.Y.O.B. (Mind Your Own Business!).

XOXO,

I say... do nothing! Really! Lots of people can do things you don't agree with or say things you'd never say, but it's OK to be friends with those people. All that really matters is how she treats you and whether she respects you enough not to peer pressure you into anything. If you have no problems with this girl, then it's up to her friend to stand up for herself.

XOXO,

Of course! Congrats on your part! Talk to your drama teacher -- she'll have some hints on how to remember your lines. Everyone can memorize things, but it takes time and a LOT of practice. Good luck!

XOXO,

Aw, don't cry! One thing you and your friend are forgetting is that you can all be friends TOGETHER. Sometimes, that doesn't happen nautrally, so you need to work at it. Invite both of them over to do something or take steps to get to know the other girl better. If you're unhappy with the situation, you can do something about it! Good luck!

XOXO,

Thanks! Oooh... that is pretty confusing. It could be that all the whispering between those two has way more to do with THEM than it does with YOU! A lot of BFFs like to have secrets and inside jokes, so when someone else approaches, they immediate stop talking. If you feel strongly like they actually don't like you for some reason, make sure they're not taking advantage of you by being nice sometimes and not nice other times. In the meantime, remember that you shouldn't have to change who you are to be friends with them :-)

XOXO,

I think the best thing you can do is ask her WHY she's always getting upset. It could be that something else is bothering her that you don't know about. Or, she might want some attention from you. Or, she might not have any reason at all! Either way, for friendship's sake, you should get down to the bottom of the problem before you make any major decisions.

XOXO,

Dear jackiejacks,

This one is TOUGH. Old friends are great, but my mom says that as girls grow up, they change and get interested in different stuff. So, old friends all of a sudden feel like strangers! It is a sad thing, but a natural thing. You both have to be honest with each other. Try to find out why she snubs you at lunch and ask her why you guys are growing apart. You both might feel exactly the same -- but you're both afraid to say anything!

Tell her that you want to treat your long-term friendship with respect by ending it if it's not making the both of you happy. You can still be hi-in-the-hallway-friends. That's better than letting things drag on until you guys don't like each other at ALL.

XOXO,

Dear I_Like_cows_52,

Don't worry! I'm here for ya! Newsflash: every girl makes mistakes when it comes to boys. And many shy girls (like my friend Charlotte) will actually act in the OPPOSITE way of how she feels because she's afraid of getting rejected.

Well, we all feel like that (even moi!) sometimes. If you did hurt his feelings at the dance, I wouldn't worry too much. But, boys (and girls!) do need encouragement sometimes when they're gathering up the courage to ask someone to dance. So, next time, if you feel ready, try making eye contact and smiling a little. Or, be totally gutsy and ask him yourself! There's nothing wrong with that!

XOXO,

Dear tapdancer95101,

If you don't like this boy, then it's best to stay away from him and not make any comments about his underwear! It might have been totally casual to you, but other people might see that kind of interaction a different way. You know?

XOXO,

Dear ilovefashion,

EVERYone has the ability to make friends. It's all about finding the right people. It sounds like these "friends" are NOT the right people. It totally OK, though. Getting ditched doesn't mean you're a bad friend -- it means you haven't found the RIGHT friends. Good luck!

XOXO,

Dear totallyangel,

You HAVE to stick up for yourself in this situation. You don't want to get the reputation of being a cheater! Talk to your teacher after school when no one else is around and explain what's going on. Be completely honest about your friend's cheating, and you can both find a solution that won't cause drama between you and your friend.

XOXO,

Dear crazylover21,

Hmmm... that's weird! You have to be persistent. Tell her that you want her to stop every time she does it. Good luck!

XOXO,

Dear perez,

Whatever you do, don't start talking about HER behind her back to get revenge. That's totally not cool. Instead, ask her why she's doing that. She might not even have a reason! Some people talk about others behind their backs to make themselves feel better. Or, if she has an issue with you, try to work things out.

XOXO,

Dear dinotea,

Your friends might be jealous that you're starting a cool band and they can't be a part of it. That's something that will take time for them to get over. In the meantime, keep doing your thing and rock out!

XOXO,

Dear monkey080808,

Think about who she is more: annoying girl or nice girl? If you feel she gets on your nerves WAY too much, maybe it's time to put a little space between you and take a break. If she's nice to you most of the time, be patient with her -- she could be upset about something you're not aware of.

XOXO,

Dear Erica16,

Hey -- you can't hate someone for not playing volleyball! What's up with that? Tell her that you choosing not to play volleyball does not make you a bad person and it does not mean your friendship is over. BFFs can be into different things, you know!

XOXO,

Dear coolgal,

You can ask her what's bothering her, but she might not want to talk about it. You could say something like, "I know something is bothering you, and I'm here if you want to talk about it." Good luck!

XOXO,

Dear sillygoose1234,

Ugh. This happens to everyone. Unfortuantely, there's not much you CAN do. You can't force someone to like you, so I'd say get to know him as a friend and chill on the whole crush thing for a while. Good luck!

XOXO,

Hi!

Hey, it's not your fault that you moved away! Your friend needs to understand that and focus on ways you two can keep in touch. Email or im are good ways to keep in touch.

XOXO,

Dear tootsieroll186,

YEOWCH! I'm glad you're going to be good as new in a few weeks! As for being taller than this boy, don't worry one bit. There's a good chance he'll be taller than YOU in a few years. Girls actually grow taller before boys do, so give him time to catch up.

And, it's great that you're getting attention, but after the casts come off, it'll just be back to normal! You wouldn't want him to give you attention just because you broke your arms, do you? Good luck!

XOXO,

Dear bsggirl007,

Sounds like it's this girl who has a problem, not you! My mom said that in junior high, a lot of girls (and boys) try to figure out who they are by trying different styles, hanging out with different people, and even trying different personalities! It can be frustrating, but all you need to do is keep being YOU.

XOXO,

Dear Shiningstar,

Moving away from your BFF can be hard because you really can't have the gab-fests that you used to have every day. Focus on making friends in your new school. That way, you're both not just hanging out with one group of people. Good luck!

XOXO,

Dear etdancer1996,

Hahaha -- yeah, this is more of a BFF issue. Explain to her that you know she tells her boyfriend everything, but this secret is important to YOU. As your BFF, she should respect that. It's not up to her to spill the beans -- even to her boyfriend. Instead, she can HELP you! Why not have the four of you do something together? That way, you can get to know his friend better and see if the crush is about more than good looks!

XOXO,

Dear kimmie97,

Being nice isn't always about giving people things. Being nice is acting sensitive toward other people and doing thoughtful things for them. You don't have to GIVE them something... instead, LEND an ear or a shoulder to cry on. Good luck!

XOXO,

Dear dancergirl9,

This doesn't happen to the BSG too often, but when we have our little squabbles, I literally REFUSE to choose sides. No matter how much pressure, no matter what they say, I just tell everybody, "I'm not going to pick sides. This is your issue to fight, not mine." Everyone has enough drama in her life -- be active about staying out of other people's!

XOXO,

Dear BSG96,

Hmmm... here's the other side! Your friend is jealous of YOU spending time with your other friend. Think about how she feels. Maybe she's feeling a little left out and confused about WHY you're spending more time with your other friend. My suggestion would be to include your friend in things you do with Haley. Even if she says she doesn't understand, it's up to you to show her how much fun you can all have together.

XOXO,

Dear KayKay111,

Awww -- don't be mad! Your friend just wants to be liked at her new school. So, she's probably trying to make as many friends as possible. Why don't you suggest a fun activity that you and she can do together or with your big group of friends? Just think -- the more the merrier!

XOXO,

Dear DramaQueenMAJOR,

Sigh. Why is it soooo hard to believe that a boy and a girl can be friends? That's totally OK, and you should try your absolute hardest not to let other people's actions affect your friendship with this boy. Most of that kind of teasing sounds like jealousy, so hold your head up high and do what friends do -- support each other no matter what!

XOXO,

Dear kgirl556,

Think about how hard it would be to hate a BFF! That's totally a strong word! But, if you and your BFF are having problems, it's time to figure out what they are and see if you can work them out. Sending mean emails is NOT okay, though. If the emails start making you feel upset or uncomfortable, make sure you tell your parents what is going on. They can help you fix your BFF situation. Good luck!

XOXO,

Dear bsgstarter,

It's totally cool that you don't want to hurt her feelings, but if she's being mean to you, then that's hurting YOUR feelings, isn't it? I'm not saying you should be mean to her, but if she doesn't respect your feelings, you shouldn't be afraid to tell her very clearly (but nicely!) how you feel. That's even better -- you're standing up for yourself AND respecting her feelings!

XOXO,

Dear BSG lover 95,

Some people like to just pretend stuff didn't happen in order to move on. Other people feel like they have to talk problems out to really feel like they've been fixed. It sounds like your friend just wants to pretend like nothing happened, so it's up to you whether you want to go along with it and move on, or if you feel you need to talk it out.

XOXO,

Dear thayanora,

Talking it out is usually the best way to approach probs like these. It comes down to how important she is to you as a friend. If she is very important, then you should keep trying to tell her how you feel -- even if it doesn't work at first. If you don't think your friendship is worth that kind of persistence, it might be time to hang out with some new people. Good luck!

XOXO,

Dear zeliska,

You're absolutely right about all that matters is that you do the right thing. But, remember that not all popular people are evil! Being popular comes with this crazy set of expectations about what you're supposed to wear and who you're supposed to hang out with. So, sometimes people do things they wouldn't normally do to meet these expectations. It's still just as important to respect and be kind to popular people!

XOXO,

Dear zeliska,

Great! I'm so glad to hear that everything worked out. Talking to your friends about problems and being honest with them is ALWAYS better than being mean. ALWAYS! Post your probs any time!

XOXO,

Dear awsomegirl123,

Telling your friend that she's bossy will probably hurt her feelings. Instead, when she starts saying something bossy, suggest something else. Like if she insists that you play her favorite game, say something like: "Cool, but we played that game last time. Let's play my favorite game this time and we'll switch." Just because she ACTS bossy doesn't mean you have to go along with everything she says. Stand up for yourself, and hopefully she'll grow out of this bossy phase!

XOXO,

Dear OJrocker,

This is tough because ex-friends don't just disappear! They are still very real with very real feelings. So, your friend needs to treat her ex-friend with respect. It takes time to build a friendship, so when one ends, that also takes a while. Ignoring her will only make her confused about what she did wrong. She might not understand why the friendship ended. I think your friend should tell her ex-friend exactly why she doesn't want to be friends anymore. But, no matter what, respect and kindness are KEY!

XOXO,

Dear PrincessPea13,

Think about what you and your friend are fighting about. Are they little things, or big things? Big things are difficult to fix, so you might want to rethink your friendship if that's the case. I mean, it's not like you have to stop speaking to her! Just put some distance between you -- it'll give you less to fight about. If you're fighting about little things, talk about how you can avoid these little squabbles -- they waste time!

XOXO,

Dear Simone2349,

You're such a great friend for being there for Tylor during a hard time! But, when someone's parents get divorced, it's something that the family has to deal with privately. As Tylor's friend, you should keep doing what you're doing -- listen when she wants to talk, and cheer her up when she feels down!

XOXO,

Dear tapdancer95101,

First of all -- if you like glasses, keep your glasses! Don't worry about what one boy likes because all boys like different things. As for talking to him, think about his interests. Did he have a soccer game over the weekend? Ask him about it. Did he see that new movie in theaters? Many friendships start with mini-conversations and then work up to longer ones, so don't be discouraged. And, keep telling your friend to please stop saying things like that. She's making it more difficult for you!

XOXO,

Dear alyaarowks,

Take it from the BSG -- you can have more than one BFF! Talk to your friend and ask if she can invite you and Rina over to hang out. Your only option isn't to just be Mia's friend. You can be Rina's friend, too!

XOXO,

Dear bsglover10,

Cool name! You should check out my post in the Boy Advice: Do Your Own Thing! section. It's all about how you might get a boy's POSITIVE attention. But, the best way to get him to notice you is to talk to him. Think of some questions you can ask him about school or about stuff he's interested in. And be yourself -- if you were close in 2nd grade, there's a good chance you can be good friends again!

XOXO,

Dear maeve fan 4ever,

Super cool name! You know what? We ALL have things about ourselves that we don't want people to make fun of us for. You're right, there are some things you can joke about, but there are many others that just aren't funny to you. When your friend makes THOSE kinds of jokes, say something like, "Okay, that's totally a no-joking zone." It doesn't have to be mean -- just say it every time she gets into that no-joke zone territory. She'll get the hint. If not, you should be honest with her and tell her she's hurting your feelings -- don't just let it go.

XOXO,

Dear Erica16,

Sounds like Emily really needs a friend right now! Being bullied is never fun, and sometimes you DO have to remove yourself from the situation -- meaning, sometimes, you have to make it so that you won't have any contact with someone like Kristi. So, if your friend has to leave, it's for her own protection. I think that you should be a super-supportive friend to Emily, and totally stay out of it at school. That way, you don't get caught in the middle!

XOXO,

Dear dancespotlightlvr,

One of the most FRUSTRATING things about crushes is that you never really know if he's sending subtle signs OR if your subtle signs are getting noticed by him! So, it's really hard to say whether that's a sign or not. He could have been trying to pay you a crush-compliment, or he could just really like your last name. The only way to find out is to keep talking to him!

XOXO,

Dear smileyE3,

Friendship isn't fun when you're always thinking that if you mess up, your BFF won't be friends with you anymore! It's also not fun when you're always letting your friend have her own way and do whatever she wants. Don't be afraid of standing up for yourself when you know you're being pushed around. If she does get mad and start distancing herself from you, then she's really not acting like a true friend. In the meantime, try making some new friends who respect you for who you are and know how to compromise!

XOXO,

Dear horses123,

It's totally okay for BFFs to be friends with other people. But, it's hard when you and their friends don't get along. Your BFFs shouldn't have to choose between you and Makala, but let them know that you don't feel comfortable around her. They could help by including you when they hang out with her -- you might see a different side to her.

XOXO,

Dear SummerRead34,

This is a toughie. My parents separated a little while ago, too. At first, I didn't want to tell anyone -- even the BSG! But, once I did, I felt a whole lot better about it. It really DOES help to talk about your feelings with the friends who know you best. People handle divorce in different ways, so if your brother wants to keep it a secret from his friends, totally respect that. But, if you choose to tell your friends, get them all together (like at a sleepover or something) and be honest about what's going on. Make sure you mention that you don't want them talking about this with other people -- that's sooo not BFF-ish!

XOXO,

Dear kgirl#2,

A fabulous painting, eh? Well, YOU'RE a fabulous painting, too! It's normal for people to shine in areas that their friends do not. Like your friend said, there are many things that you might do better than she does. So, in this situation, take the BFF route -- totally support her and be there for her no matter what. Celebrate both of your accomplishments, and when someone makes a big deal out of her, say something like, "Isn't she rad at math? She's also a great friend. But, I can totally beat her on the tennis court!" But, remember, just because the spotlight isn't about you, doesn't mean that you don't shine!

XOXO,

Dear jdog,

It sounds like you're afraid of making your friend mad -- but how is she making you feel? Your feelings are just as important as hers, so even if she gets mad at you for standing up for yourself, she'll get the message that her feelings are the only ones that count.

XOXO,

Dear jdog,

Work it out, girl! Don't let things go. Make sure you and your friend are both at peace with whatever happened and then move on!

XOXO,

Dear dancespotlightlvr,

A lot of girls feel like they don't have the guts to tell their crushes how they feel, so that's totally normal! But, it's really hard to know for sure whether a guy likes you just by trying to read signs. But, if you're pretty sure he likes you, why not talk to him more often and see if he's into spending more time with you? No pressure -- you're just talking and being good friends :-)

XOXO,

Dear tapdancer95101,

Oh no! You just have to keep telling her over and over again to stop. And, really. How many times can she tell your crush that you like him? Tell her that it's old news and that she should move on like everyone else. If she still doesn't stop, talk to a trusted adult about the next step.

XOXO,

Dear stagelover1234890,

DRAMA ALERT! Whew -- I'm glad you and your two friends worked it out. As for the other girl, it sounds like she's very sorry for what she did, but she should def apologize to you. If you're willing to move on, I'm sure she is, too. But, let her make the first move.

And your crush, yeah, if he's boring to talk to, then your friendship can't really grow, can it? Personally, I don't think you need to TELL him you don't like him. Just continue being nice and friendly to him. Having a new friend is great, but it doesn't have to be a CRUSH kind of friendship unless you want it to be.

XOXO,

Dear 123589,

Ehhh... popular, shmopular. Popularity isn't everything. If you have a group of friends that like you for YOU, then that's more important than being the best or the coolest or the trendiest. My mom told me that popularity fades, but being a great friend lasts forever.

XOXO,

Dear Martyis2cute,

This is tough -- of course you want to be with your BFF in the cabin, but your teacher might not be considering special roommate requests. It might just be luck of the draw for all of you! And, unless you and this girl have serious problems between you, telling her you don't want her in your cabin will only hurt her feelings. If you do wind up in the same cabin, give her a chance -- you might see a whole new side of her out in nature!

XOXO,

Dear Vineetha,

I think you should be HONEST with her. Ask her why she only talks to you on the bus and why she sat in your permanent seat. It's great that you want to still be friends with her and work things out, but the BEST kind of BFFs will be your friend 24/7.

XOXO,

Dear cutepuffin,

Boys are so WEIRD sometimes. But, both boys AND girls sometimes say they don't like someone (when they actually kinda do!) because they're nervous and don't feel ready for what comes next. Take the pressure off by just being friends and having fun. No need to be nervous about that!

XOXO,

Dear Chickabonita01,

Ouch. It sounds like your friend does not know the true meaning of being bipolar. Explain to her that joking about bipolar disorder (which can be a serious mental condition) is NOT cool! If she still keeps it up, tell a trusted adult (like your teacher), and she can help you stop the name-calling.

XOXO,

Dear smiley101,

Well, it sounds like she's the one hurting YOUR feelings when she yells at you like that! That is totally not a BFF-ish thing to do. Sometimes, to make yourself CLEAR, you might hurt someone's feelings for a little while. But, if you avoid the issue instead of dealing with it, it'll be your feelings that get hurt for a LONG time.

XOXO,

Dear Wendyloo727,

I know this one! You say, "HI!" It's as easy as that. He's probably very nervous starting at a new school and everything, so I bet he'll appreciate a friendly face. Ask him where he's from, what he's into -- all that stuff!

XOXO,

Dear allgirlchick,

If your BFF dates your BF behind your back, then she's not really a BFF, is she? You can try talking to her and telling her how much she's hurting your feelings. Or, you can hold your head up high at school and find some new BFFs!

XOXO,