When BFFs Fight

Using someone is never cool, but it's up to YOU to make it stop. Also, you are free to have other friends, and if she gets mad, then she's not handling the situation in a mature way. Remember that you should never feel like YOU can't do something that is perfectly normal (like having other friends or standing up for yourself) just because someone ELSE will get mad. No one should be using you AND have that kind of control, you know? Good luck!

XOXO,

I'm so sorry it didn't work out! If you're feeling bad about it, you've got to change your perspective. These girls don't sound like they're very inviting and accepting of other people. But, it sounds like you are! In other words, it sounds like they're the ones with the problem -- not you. Keep in mind that you ARE a great friend, and you deserve the same in return. It might be time to hang out with other girls who treat you with respect, rather than feeling excluded all the time. Good luck!

XOXO,

Hey, thanks! Think about why you really wanna be her friend. It doesn't sound like she treats you with respect, does it! And, remember that BFF stands for Best Friend FOREVER -- not until she gets bored and trades you in for someone else! Good luck!

XOXO,

Easy! Tell them that you are keeping your guy friend's secret because you would do the same for them. Explain that you don't like to gossip, and when someone tells you a secret, you keep it. The only exception there is if someone told you something that could lead to a dangerous situation. But, for this case, I'd tell my friends to M.Y.O.B. (Mind Your Own Business!).

XOXO,

I say... do nothing! Really! Lots of people can do things you don't agree with or say things you'd never say, but it's OK to be friends with those people. All that really matters is how she treats you and whether she respects you enough not to peer pressure you into anything. If you have no problems with this girl, then it's up to her friend to stand up for herself.

XOXO,

Of course! Congrats on your part! Talk to your drama teacher -- she'll have some hints on how to remember your lines. Everyone can memorize things, but it takes time and a LOT of practice. Good luck!

XOXO,

Aw, don't cry! One thing you and your friend are forgetting is that you can all be friends TOGETHER. Sometimes, that doesn't happen nautrally, so you need to work at it. Invite both of them over to do something or take steps to get to know the other girl better. If you're unhappy with the situation, you can do something about it! Good luck!

XOXO,

Thanks! Oooh... that is pretty confusing. It could be that all the whispering between those two has way more to do with THEM than it does with YOU! A lot of BFFs like to have secrets and inside jokes, so when someone else approaches, they immediate stop talking. If you feel strongly like they actually don't like you for some reason, make sure they're not taking advantage of you by being nice sometimes and not nice other times. In the meantime, remember that you shouldn't have to change who you are to be friends with them :-)

XOXO,

I think the best thing you can do is ask her WHY she's always getting upset. It could be that something else is bothering her that you don't know about. Or, she might want some attention from you. Or, she might not have any reason at all! Either way, for friendship's sake, you should get down to the bottom of the problem before you make any major decisions.

XOXO,

Dear jackiejacks,

This one is TOUGH. Old friends are great, but my mom says that as girls grow up, they change and get interested in different stuff. So, old friends all of a sudden feel like strangers! It is a sad thing, but a natural thing. You both have to be honest with each other. Try to find out why she snubs you at lunch and ask her why you guys are growing apart. You both might feel exactly the same -- but you're both afraid to say anything!

Tell her that you want to treat your long-term friendship with respect by ending it if it's not making the both of you happy. You can still be hi-in-the-hallway-friends. That's better than letting things drag on until you guys don't like each other at ALL.

XOXO,

Dear I_Like_cows_52,

Don't worry! I'm here for ya! Newsflash: every girl makes mistakes when it comes to boys. And many shy girls (like my friend Charlotte) will actually act in the OPPOSITE way of how she feels because she's afraid of getting rejected.

Well, we all feel like that (even moi!) sometimes. If you did hurt his feelings at the dance, I wouldn't worry too much. But, boys (and girls!) do need encouragement sometimes when they're gathering up the courage to ask someone to dance. So, next time, if you feel ready, try making eye contact and smiling a little. Or, be totally gutsy and ask him yourself! There's nothing wrong with that!

XOXO,

Dear tapdancer95101,

If you don't like this boy, then it's best to stay away from him and not make any comments about his underwear! It might have been totally casual to you, but other people might see that kind of interaction a different way. You know?

XOXO,

Dear ilovefashion,

EVERYone has the ability to make friends. It's all about finding the right people. It sounds like these "friends" are NOT the right people. It totally OK, though. Getting ditched doesn't mean you're a bad friend -- it means you haven't found the RIGHT friends. Good luck!

XOXO,

Dear totallyangel,

You HAVE to stick up for yourself in this situation. You don't want to get the reputation of being a cheater! Talk to your teacher after school when no one else is around and explain what's going on. Be completely honest about your friend's cheating, and you can both find a solution that won't cause drama between you and your friend.

XOXO,

Dear crazylover21,

Hmmm... that's weird! You have to be persistent. Tell her that you want her to stop every time she does it. Good luck!

XOXO,

Dear perez,

Whatever you do, don't start talking about HER behind her back to get revenge. That's totally not cool. Instead, ask her why she's doing that. She might not even have a reason! Some people talk about others behind their backs to make themselves feel better. Or, if she has an issue with you, try to work things out.

XOXO,

Dear dinotea,

Your friends might be jealous that you're starting a cool band and they can't be a part of it. That's something that will take time for them to get over. In the meantime, keep doing your thing and rock out!

XOXO,

Dear monkey080808,

Think about who she is more: annoying girl or nice girl? If you feel she gets on your nerves WAY too much, maybe it's time to put a little space between you and take a break. If she's nice to you most of the time, be patient with her -- she could be upset about something you're not aware of.

XOXO,

Dear Erica16,

Hey -- you can't hate someone for not playing volleyball! What's up with that? Tell her that you choosing not to play volleyball does not make you a bad person and it does not mean your friendship is over. BFFs can be into different things, you know!

XOXO,

Dear coolgal,

You can ask her what's bothering her, but she might not want to talk about it. You could say something like, "I know something is bothering you, and I'm here if you want to talk about it." Good luck!

XOXO,

Dear sillygoose1234,

Ugh. This happens to everyone. Unfortuantely, there's not much you CAN do. You can't force someone to like you, so I'd say get to know him as a friend and chill on the whole crush thing for a while. Good luck!

XOXO,

Hi!

Hey, it's not your fault that you moved away! Your friend needs to understand that and focus on ways you two can keep in touch. Email or im are good ways to keep in touch.

XOXO,

Dear tootsieroll186,

YEOWCH! I'm glad you're going to be good as new in a few weeks! As for being taller than this boy, don't worry one bit. There's a good chance he'll be taller than YOU in a few years. Girls actually grow taller before boys do, so give him time to catch up.

And, it's great that you're getting attention, but after the casts come off, it'll just be back to normal! You wouldn't want him to give you attention just because you broke your arms, do you? Good luck!

XOXO,

Dear bsggirl007,

Sounds like it's this girl who has a problem, not you! My mom said that in junior high, a lot of girls (and boys) try to figure out who they are by trying different styles, hanging out with different people, and even trying different personalities! It can be frustrating, but all you need to do is keep being YOU.

XOXO,

Dear Shiningstar,

Moving away from your BFF can be hard because you really can't have the gab-fests that you used to have every day. Focus on making friends in your new school. That way, you're both not just hanging out with one group of people. Good luck!

XOXO,

Dear etdancer1996,

Hahaha -- yeah, this is more of a BFF issue. Explain to her that you know she tells her boyfriend everything, but this secret is important to YOU. As your BFF, she should respect that. It's not up to her to spill the beans -- even to her boyfriend. Instead, she can HELP you! Why not have the four of you do something together? That way, you can get to know his friend better and see if the crush is about more than good looks!

XOXO,

Dear kimmie97,

Being nice isn't always about giving people things. Being nice is acting sensitive toward other people and doing thoughtful things for them. You don't have to GIVE them something... instead, LEND an ear or a shoulder to cry on. Good luck!

XOXO,

Dear dancergirl9,

This doesn't happen to the BSG too often, but when we have our little squabbles, I literally REFUSE to choose sides. No matter how much pressure, no matter what they say, I just tell everybody, "I'm not going to pick sides. This is your issue to fight, not mine." Everyone has enough drama in her life -- be active about staying out of other people's!

XOXO,

Dear BSG96,

Hmmm... here's the other side! Your friend is jealous of YOU spending time with your other friend. Think about how she feels. Maybe she's feeling a little left out and confused about WHY you're spending more time with your other friend. My suggestion would be to include your friend in things you do with Haley. Even if she says she doesn't understand, it's up to you to show her how much fun you can all have together.

XOXO,

Dear KayKay111,

Awww -- don't be mad! Your friend just wants to be liked at her new school. So, she's probably trying to make as many friends as possible. Why don't you suggest a fun activity that you and she can do together or with your big group of friends? Just think -- the more the merrier!

XOXO,

Dear DramaQueenMAJOR,

Sigh. Why is it soooo hard to believe that a boy and a girl can be friends? That's totally OK, and you should try your absolute hardest not to let other people's actions affect your friendship with this boy. Most of that kind of teasing sounds like jealousy, so hold your head up high and do what friends do -- support each other no matter what!

XOXO,

Dear kgirl556,

Think about how hard it would be to hate a BFF! That's totally a strong word! But, if you and your BFF are having problems, it's time to figure out what they are and see if you can work them out. Sending mean emails is NOT okay, though. If the emails start making you feel upset or uncomfortable, make sure you tell your parents what is going on. They can help you fix your BFF situation. Good luck!

XOXO,

Dear bsgstarter,

It's totally cool that you don't want to hurt her feelings, but if she's being mean to you, then that's hurting YOUR feelings, isn't it? I'm not saying you should be mean to her, but if she doesn't respect your feelings, you shouldn't be afraid to tell her very clearly (but nicely!) how you feel. That's even better -- you're standing up for yourself AND respecting her feelings!

XOXO,

Dear BSG lover 95,

Some people like to just pretend stuff didn't happen in order to move on. Other people feel like they have to talk problems out to really feel like they've been fixed. It sounds like your friend just wants to pretend like nothing happened, so it's up to you whether you want to go along with it and move on, or if you feel you need to talk it out.

XOXO,

Dear thayanora,

Talking it out is usually the best way to approach probs like these. It comes down to how important she is to you as a friend. If she is very important, then you should keep trying to tell her how you feel -- even if it doesn't work at first. If you don't think your friendship is worth that kind of persistence, it might be time to hang out with some new people. Good luck!

XOXO,

Dear zeliska,

You're absolutely right about all that matters is that you do the right thing. But, remember that not all popular people are evil! Being popular comes with this crazy set of expectations about what you're supposed to wear and who you're supposed to hang out with. So, sometimes people do things they wouldn't normally do to meet these expectations. It's still just as important to respect and be kind to popular people!

XOXO,

Dear zeliska,

Great! I'm so glad to hear that everything worked out. Talking to your friends about problems and being honest with them is ALWAYS better than being mean. ALWAYS! Post your probs any time!

XOXO,

Dear awsomegirl123,

Telling your friend that she's bossy will probably hurt her feelings. Instead, when she starts saying something bossy, suggest something else. Like if she insists that you play her favorite game, say something like: "Cool, but we played that game last time. Let's play my favorite game this time and we'll switch." Just because she ACTS bossy doesn't mean you have to go along with everything she says. Stand up for yourself, and hopefully she'll grow out of this bossy phase!

XOXO,

Dear OJrocker,

This is tough because ex-friends don't just disappear! They are still very real with very real feelings. So, your friend needs to treat her ex-friend with respect. It takes time to build a friendship, so when one ends, that also takes a while. Ignoring her will only make her confused about what she did wrong. She might not understand why the friendship ended. I think your friend should tell her ex-friend exactly why she doesn't want to be friends anymore. But, no matter what, respect and kindness are KEY!

XOXO,

Dear PrincessPea13,

Think about what you and your friend are fighting about. Are they little things, or big things? Big things are difficult to fix, so you might want to rethink your friendship if that's the case. I mean, it's not like you have to stop speaking to her! Just put some distance between you -- it'll give you less to fight about. If you're fighting about little things, talk about how you can avoid these little squabbles -- they waste time!

XOXO,

Dear Simone2349,

You're such a great friend for being there for Tylor during a hard time! But, when someone's parents get divorced, it's something that the family has to deal with privately. As Tylor's friend, you should keep doing what you're doing -- listen when she wants to talk, and cheer her up when she feels down!

XOXO,

Dear tapdancer95101,

First of all -- if you like glasses, keep your glasses! Don't worry about what one boy likes because all boys like different things. As for talking to him, think about his interests. Did he have a soccer game over the weekend? Ask him about it. Did he see that new movie in theaters? Many friendships start with mini-conversations and then work up to longer ones, so don't be discouraged. And, keep telling your friend to please stop saying things like that. She's making it more difficult for you!

XOXO,

Dear alyaarowks,

Take it from the BSG -- you can have more than one BFF! Talk to your friend and ask if she can invite you and Rina over to hang out. Your only option isn't to just be Mia's friend. You can be Rina's friend, too!

XOXO,

Dear bsglover10,

Cool name! You should check out my post in the Boy Advice: Do Your Own Thing! section. It's all about how you might get a boy's POSITIVE attention. But, the best way to get him to notice you is to talk to him. Think of some questions you can ask him about school or about stuff he's interested in. And be yourself -- if you were close in 2nd grade, there's a good chance you can be good friends again!

XOXO,

Dear maeve fan 4ever,

Super cool name! You know what? We ALL have things about ourselves that we don't want people to make fun of us for. You're right, there are some things you can joke about, but there are many others that just aren't funny to you. When your friend makes THOSE kinds of jokes, say something like, "Okay, that's totally a no-joking zone." It doesn't have to be mean -- just say it every time she gets into that no-joke zone territory. She'll get the hint. If not, you should be honest with her and tell her she's hurting your feelings -- don't just let it go.

XOXO,

Dear Erica16,

Sounds like Emily really needs a friend right now! Being bullied is never fun, and sometimes you DO have to remove yourself from the situation -- meaning, sometimes, you have to make it so that you won't have any contact with someone like Kristi. So, if your friend has to leave, it's for her own protection. I think that you should be a super-supportive friend to Emily, and totally stay out of it at school. That way, you don't get caught in the middle!

XOXO,

Dear dancespotlightlvr,

One of the most FRUSTRATING things about crushes is that you never really know if he's sending subtle signs OR if your subtle signs are getting noticed by him! So, it's really hard to say whether that's a sign or not. He could have been trying to pay you a crush-compliment, or he could just really like your last name. The only way to find out is to keep talking to him!

XOXO,

Dear smileyE3,

Friendship isn't fun when you're always thinking that if you mess up, your BFF won't be friends with you anymore! It's also not fun when you're always letting your friend have her own way and do whatever she wants. Don't be afraid of standing up for yourself when you know you're being pushed around. If she does get mad and start distancing herself from you, then she's really not acting like a true friend. In the meantime, try making some new friends who respect you for who you are and know how to compromise!

XOXO,

Dear horses123,

It's totally okay for BFFs to be friends with other people. But, it's hard when you and their friends don't get along. Your BFFs shouldn't have to choose between you and Makala, but let them know that you don't feel comfortable around her. They could help by including you when they hang out with her -- you might see a different side to her.

XOXO,

Dear SummerRead34,

This is a toughie. My parents separated a little while ago, too. At first, I didn't want to tell anyone -- even the BSG! But, once I did, I felt a whole lot better about it. It really DOES help to talk about your feelings with the friends who know you best. People handle divorce in different ways, so if your brother wants to keep it a secret from his friends, totally respect that. But, if you choose to tell your friends, get them all together (like at a sleepover or something) and be honest about what's going on. Make sure you mention that you don't want them talking about this with other people -- that's sooo not BFF-ish!

XOXO,

Dear kgirl#2,

A fabulous painting, eh? Well, YOU'RE a fabulous painting, too! It's normal for people to shine in areas that their friends do not. Like your friend said, there are many things that you might do better than she does. So, in this situation, take the BFF route -- totally support her and be there for her no matter what. Celebrate both of your accomplishments, and when someone makes a big deal out of her, say something like, "Isn't she rad at math? She's also a great friend. But, I can totally beat her on the tennis court!" But, remember, just because the spotlight isn't about you, doesn't mean that you don't shine!

XOXO,

Dear jdog,

It sounds like you're afraid of making your friend mad -- but how is she making you feel? Your feelings are just as important as hers, so even if she gets mad at you for standing up for yourself, she'll get the message that her feelings are the only ones that count.

XOXO,

Dear jdog,

Work it out, girl! Don't let things go. Make sure you and your friend are both at peace with whatever happened and then move on!

XOXO,

Dear dancespotlightlvr,

A lot of girls feel like they don't have the guts to tell their crushes how they feel, so that's totally normal! But, it's really hard to know for sure whether a guy likes you just by trying to read signs. But, if you're pretty sure he likes you, why not talk to him more often and see if he's into spending more time with you? No pressure -- you're just talking and being good friends :-)

XOXO,

Dear tapdancer95101,

Oh no! You just have to keep telling her over and over again to stop. And, really. How many times can she tell your crush that you like him? Tell her that it's old news and that she should move on like everyone else. If she still doesn't stop, talk to a trusted adult about the next step.

XOXO,

Dear stagelover1234890,

DRAMA ALERT! Whew -- I'm glad you and your two friends worked it out. As for the other girl, it sounds like she's very sorry for what she did, but she should def apologize to you. If you're willing to move on, I'm sure she is, too. But, let her make the first move.

And your crush, yeah, if he's boring to talk to, then your friendship can't really grow, can it? Personally, I don't think you need to TELL him you don't like him. Just continue being nice and friendly to him. Having a new friend is great, but it doesn't have to be a CRUSH kind of friendship unless you want it to be.

XOXO,

Dear 123589,

Ehhh... popular, shmopular. Popularity isn't everything. If you have a group of friends that like you for YOU, then that's more important than being the best or the coolest or the trendiest. My mom told me that popularity fades, but being a great friend lasts forever.

XOXO,

Dear Martyis2cute,

This is tough -- of course you want to be with your BFF in the cabin, but your teacher might not be considering special roommate requests. It might just be luck of the draw for all of you! And, unless you and this girl have serious problems between you, telling her you don't want her in your cabin will only hurt her feelings. If you do wind up in the same cabin, give her a chance -- you might see a whole new side of her out in nature!

XOXO,

Dear Vineetha,

I think you should be HONEST with her. Ask her why she only talks to you on the bus and why she sat in your permanent seat. It's great that you want to still be friends with her and work things out, but the BEST kind of BFFs will be your friend 24/7.

XOXO,

Dear cutepuffin,

Boys are so WEIRD sometimes. But, both boys AND girls sometimes say they don't like someone (when they actually kinda do!) because they're nervous and don't feel ready for what comes next. Take the pressure off by just being friends and having fun. No need to be nervous about that!

XOXO,

Dear Chickabonita01,

Ouch. It sounds like your friend does not know the true meaning of being bipolar. Explain to her that joking about bipolar disorder (which can be a serious mental condition) is NOT cool! If she still keeps it up, tell a trusted adult (like your teacher), and she can help you stop the name-calling.

XOXO,

Dear smiley101,

Well, it sounds like she's the one hurting YOUR feelings when she yells at you like that! That is totally not a BFF-ish thing to do. Sometimes, to make yourself CLEAR, you might hurt someone's feelings for a little while. But, if you avoid the issue instead of dealing with it, it'll be your feelings that get hurt for a LONG time.

XOXO,

Dear Wendyloo727,

I know this one! You say, "HI!" It's as easy as that. He's probably very nervous starting at a new school and everything, so I bet he'll appreciate a friendly face. Ask him where he's from, what he's into -- all that stuff!

XOXO,

Dear allgirlchick,

If your BFF dates your BF behind your back, then she's not really a BFF, is she? You can try talking to her and telling her how much she's hurting your feelings. Or, you can hold your head up high at school and find some new BFFs!

XOXO,

Dear dinyal,

Making friends isn't about being super pretty or perfectly nice all the time. TRUE friends love you for who you are. Try meeting people who have the same interests as you (like, in clubs and stuff) and can appreciate you for being YOU.

XOXO,

Dear marty2233,

Your BFF can't just tell you she'll be there for you no matter what. She needs to SHOW you. So, if she's saying one thing, and then doing another, it's a good idea to tell her the truth about how you're feeling.

XOXO,

Dear taragal,

HAHAHA -- eat carrots instead!

XOXO,

Dear Help me!

Since you live so far away from each other, ask him for his email address. That way you two can chat in between visits and get more comfortable with one another. Word to the wise: give your friend a heads up about what you're doing. That way there are no surprises!

XOXO,

Dear spenceluv1,

You're right -- trust is SO important when you get into any kind of relationship (friends, more than friends, whatever). But, building trust in a you-like-him/he-likes-you kind of relationship takes time. And, there's no rush! If you can trust him as a friend, then spending more time with each other will feel like a natural, comfortable step. But, if you feel UNcomfortable with being more than friends, you have a great friendship to fall back on.

XOXO,

Dear BSG Fan,

It's natural for BFFs to grow apart sometimes, but being BFFs isn't something you just walk away from, is it? Talk to your friend about how you feel, and maybe suggest that you and her new friends can all hang out together. If not, there's no reason why you can't make some new friends, too!

XOXO,

Dear kekechi,

Trust is a BIG part of being friends with someone. Try talking to her again and give her more than one chance to get the message. If her behavior STILL doesn't improve, it might be time to move on and meet new people.

XOXO,

Dear niobee,

Ick! Try talking to your friend when it's just the girls -- aka, when her bf isn't around. Make it clear that you don't like how he treats you and your other friends. Explain that you still want to be friends with her, but if he continues to trash talk to your face, you'll be avoiding him whenever possible. You don't have to put up with that!

XOXO,

Dear Sick of Fighting,

I think it IS time for one of you to stand up and say something. Fighting all the time isn't good for any of you, so why stay close friends if it's just too stressful? It's not like you're married to your friends -- you can still have great memories of when you were BFFs, but it might be time to move on and find a different crowd. Feelings might get a little hurt, but you'll feel a whole lot better when you're not playing referee every time you guys hang out!

XOXO,

Dear Girl Who Wants Justice,

Being competitive with a BFF is a recipe for DRAMA to the max. And, yeah, it does hurt when your friend gets a ton of attention while you're feeling a little left out. But, as her BFF, the best thing to do is support her no matter what. If she's still supportive of you, then try not to let those jealous feelings take over your friendship. OK, she's good at volleyball -- but you're probably really good at something she struggles in. Focus on YOUR strengths and work at not comparing yourself to your friend. Doing the best that YOU can is something you BOTH can appreciate.

XOXO,

Dear smiley624,

Good for you for staying put! You can go with the flow and follow your friends once in a while, but if it means going against something you feel strongly about, you should stand up for yourself!

You did just that by staying and eating with the person your friend didn't want to sit with. That doesn't mean you can't still be friends! Just make it clear that you have your own mind and you make your own decisions -- and that's soooo BSG.

XOXO,

Dear innerstar2,

I bet if you get to know this girl, you'll find that you're not so different after all! Being different is what makes people cool and unique. Like me -- I've got red, curly hair! But, I love it because it's part of what makes me different from my friends!

If this girl is really nice and sweet -- give her a chance! You could be making a friend for life.

XOXO,

Dear Maeve Girl970,

AWESOME name! It sounds like your friend should be the one apologizing to YOU, not the other way around! You might want to rethink being friends with HER. People make mistakes, and it's no reason to end a friendship, but what she did was pretty nasty!

Just keep your head held high, and try not to talk about the situation with people who are not your closest friends. It's none of their business, right? And, the people who aren't convinced that you're a bad person just because of this little mishap -- stick with them. They're what friendship is all about.

XOXO,

Dear tapdancer95101,

Sounds like YOUR feelings are the ones getting hurt here. You can say something like, "Listen, I know you're just trying to help, but I really want you to stop telling my crush I like him." Be direct -- that way she knows exactly how you feel.

And, don't let her pressure you into doing something you feel uncomfortable about. If you're not ready to write him a note or call him, that's OK! Wait until YOU want to make a move -- and tell your friend (nicely!) to back off in the meantime.

XOXO,

Dear MaeveFan173,

Hey! You have a cool name, too! One of the major things about friendship is keeping each other's secrets. That's SUPER important! If you feel like your friend is telling people your secrets, it's time to sit down and have a long talk with her -- or time to find other friends to spill your secrets to.

XOXO,

Dear lolagirl,

Ugh... choosing sides is never easy or fair. So, you're doing the right thing by refusing to choose between your two friends! If your two friends put pressure on you to choose, try hanging out with other people for a little while -- hopefully your friends will mend THEIR friendship in the meantime.

XOXO,

Dear Confused,

You're not alone! My mom used to micro-manage my schedule and treat me like a little kid sometimes. That's just what moms do! So, I showed her how grown up I am by staying on top of my school work, keeping my room clean, and helping out around the house.

Prove to your mom how responsible and mature you are, and talk to her about how you feel. She might not even realize she's doing it!

XOXO,

Dear duckywucky36,

Ooooh, I've got the answer! There's a saying that goes: "Kill them with kindness." What that means is the best way to deal with bullies or Queens of Mean is not to go to their level by gossiping and saying mean things back. It sounds weird, but being KIND to them doesn't give them much to hate you for, does it?

So, if walking away doesn't work, try just smiling and letting whatever comment roll off your back and move on. Also, tell your mom or your teacher about their bullying, and they can help you with a solution.

XOXO,

Dear catlover111,

Ouch. Being ignored like that hurts. Especially when you don't know why! Sometimes, boys act totally different when they're with their friends because a lot of boys like to act macho and tough around other guys.

Many boys are afraid to show their softer side (how he acts when you guys are alone) in front of their pals because they think they'll get teased. So, I'm bet that him ignoring you in front of his buds isn't about you -- it's about his own insecurities with his friends!

XOXO,

Dear monkey202,

The best thing you can do is be honest with your friend. Tell her that you're feeling left out right now and that you still want to be her friend. And, you know what? The more the merrier! Try to get to know the girl your friend is hanging out with -- you might find that you can all have a blast TOGETHER.

XOXO,

Dear hollywood102,

This kind of treatment needs to stop! Tell your teacher or another adult you trust about what is happening to you. He or she can help stop the bullying you're experiencing -- and that's what is most important here. It's one thing to be embarrassed in front of your crush, but it's time for an adult to get involved if you're being hit or tripped or called names. Good luck!

XOXO,

Dear Confused,

This sounds almost EXACTLY like what happened to the BSG in Book #7, Freaked Out. This girl, Julie Faber, was having this super fun Hawaiian-themed birthday party, and she invited all of the BSG -- except Avery! How rude!

Your mom is right, ignore Betsy, and start planning a super fun night of your own on the night of the slumber party. Being excluded hurts, so you can change that by INCLUDING many girls in your fun night together. Have a blast!

XOXO,

First of all, it's soooo great that you guys have been able to stay friends! I would definitely let your friends know that you're feeling a little shaky about the friendship. True friends are there to support you through thick and thin.

XOXO,

Dearest Kaitlin,
Tell, tell, tell. You need to talk to a grown-up! I would totally tell my mom or another adult I trust.

XOXO,

Whoa again girlfriend,
That's called bullying! You need to talk to a grown-up. If you're afraid to tell a teacher, ask your parents to, or another trusted adult. Our teacher would absolutely want us to talk to her, the principal or someone at school.

Dear jjbooklvr,

Right on! Gossip does hurt, and sometimes it is SOOOO tempting to spread it. So, you're right. AVOID it like the plague!

XOXO,

Dear jesus128,

You know something? This might be one of those situations where your parents are totally right. Sometimes, it's very easy to give in to peer pressure and start doing things you never thought you'd do when there's a bad influence around.

Maybe your parents would be cool with you talking to her once in a while or sitting with her at lunch, but try hanging out with some other people in the meantime. It's a win-win situation: you get to make more friends, and you'll be sticking with a crowd that won't get YOU in trouble.

XOXO,

Dear Spunkypunk,

Whoa! First off, let me just say that it is NEVER OK to (a) date a 15-year-old when you're 11, and (b) call another person fat! I think you're totally right when you say that you don't feel comfortable around the two of them. Stick to that, sister!

Since your friend won't listen to you, politely explain that you don't feel comfortable around her boyfriend, and you don't like the way he treats you.

Then, tell her up front that you will avoid hanging out with him in the future. You have to be true to yourself and your feelings -- even if it means not hanging out with your friend for a while.

And, going back to (a) -- I would totally tell my mom or another adult I trust about your friend dating a 15-year-old, regardless of whether she might get in trouble. You'll be helping your friend get away from a relationship that could get sketchy!

XOXO,

Dear Can't Be Trusted,

This sounds like a time when your friend needs her besties the most! People handle tough stuff in very different ways. Some are cool with talking about it and getting it out in the open. Others feel a little funny about discussing their problems -- even with BFFs.

So, you and your other friends should take telling her off out of the plan completely. That's the last thing your friend needs! Just respect that she doesn't want to talk about life at home right now (which doesn't mean she doesn't trust you!), and let her know that you'll be there for here if she feels ready to talk.

XOXO,