Dove: Seven Principles for Living Wisely

Seven Principles of Living Wisely

Addie Swartz, Dove.com, 1/13/09

When I was little, most moms stayed at home; that was just the norm. Even though my mom was busy raising 3 children, she made it a priority to find a way to contribute to the community. She sought out and found a cause -- the public library. She began first by getting involved in our town; then she volunteered at the county level, followed by working at the state level in New Jersey. While she was not a librarian, she knew she was skilled at long range planning and could galvanize people. She fought for equal access to libraries for lower income communities and to create a unified, state-wide library system.

What I saw was a mom who loved me and was dedicated to me but who also got a lot of personal satisfaction from channeling her energy and intellect toward an institution that helped the community. She took ownership for projects, and she got results. These results eventually led to a presidential appointment and recognition on a national level. While she helped the larger community, she also identified her passion and she did something that was satisfying to her.

I am now a mom myself (two daughters, ages 13 and 17), and have spent the past 5 years building a company whose underlying mission is to help pre-teen girls develop self-respect, confidence and a positive “can-do” attitude. The Beacon Street Girls books and website www.beaconstreetgirls.com, are based upon 7 principles I learned from my mom, with help from my daughters and friends along the way:

Dare to be different. Don’t go with the crowd… There is power in owning something that no one else has. My mom always told me if everyone else was doing it, that was precisely why I shouldn’t be doing it. “Be yourself and be proud to be the unique individual you are. Make up your own mind about things and follow your heart.”

Find something you believe in. Every path has bumps along the way. If you really care about what you are doing, and have a sense of mission, you will be better able to make it through the challenges along the way. True conviction is contagious—people will see it and respect it.

Don’t wait for opportunity to knock. Whether it be your career or a man, be in charge of your own destiny, and create your own opportunity. My mom always encouraged me to fill whatever void I discovered, and just “figure it out.” After all, my mom always said, “It couldn’t be that complicated, could it?”

Know what you are talking about. Stick with something, learn the details, and develop expertise. You will have more credibility and will feel more confident when you need to convince others. My mom worked hard and eventually knew as much or more about libraries and how they affect the communities they serve as anyone she worked with.

Friendship matters. Having friends who will stick by you through thick and thin are priceless; they accept you for who you are. My mom always encouraged me to find friends who would stand by me, no matter what. A good support base will give you the confidence to choose your own path and make tough decisions.

Give and seek encouragement. Yes, do both. My mom always told me that when you send out positive energy and help others, it comes right back to you. Everyone needs a little push or a positive word sometime. Spend time with people who will support you, and support them in return.

You are NOT what you do. If you follow your passions and act with integrity, you will be proud of yourself. Things may not work out for many reasons, especially in these uncertain times. It is really who you are that matters.

Now it’s my turn. I hear the echo of my mother’s voice, telling my girls the same things, and I expect they will pass these lessons on to their children. Meanwhile, through the Beacon Street Girls, I hope we’re able to spread these positive messages even wider -- to a whole new generation of girls. Every time we teach a lesson to others, it becomes more deeply ingrained in our own hearts.